We’ve been together 2 years and things had gotten good between my girlfriend and parents. We’ve already done a lot together and it’s always gone well. Not this time and she is mad. I’ll start with saying regarding my health, I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 5 and still am having seizures on almost a daily basis. Of course growing up like that can have an impact on my life, but my girlfriend thinks my parents didn’t support me enough or the right way by not taking me to therapy when I was 12 or no speech therapy classes when I have no problems with speaking. Epilepsy comes with additional struggles regarding mental health like depression or autism. I had symptoms looking like that as a kid and still some today and she thinks that’s a huge problem. I have been seeing a therapist for a while and that’s not enough for her?
The last 2 weeks I had been staying at her house watching her cats while she was on a trip with her mom across the country. I was ready to go home but my girlfriend begged me to stay one more night when she got back. I did and the following morning, needed to go home to take care of my dogs while my parents at work, I was having seizure after seizure and made the mistake of not telling my parents this and they thought I’d be home. When I’m unconscious, my girlfriend calls my dad and tells him what happened and he was already frustrated with the no communication on my end. My girlfriend then says how she threw out her back and was facing a lot of pain, making it hard to help me or drive me home, and she’s mad that her pain didn’t get acknowledged at all. I am very appreciative of what she did for me, I acknowledged her pain and apologized for the havoc but she is not letting it go.
I’m back home now and she called me and is unhappy that I was having a positive mood. I’m studying for a big test I have in 2 weeks so I’m not gonna be thinking about the bad day and what to do while preparing for this exam. She does not have the greatest health so she’s not always in the best mood. She has a traumatic past but I don’t want her projecting that on me. I feel terrible about how she grew up with a terrible and abusive father and brother. Our families are very different and I try to show her as much support as I can. I love my family very much and have received so much support from them my whole life so it breaks my heart when my girlfriend doesn’t believe that.
TLDR: Girlfriend thinks my parents don’t care for me or ever have because I’m still having seizures frequently and they didn’t take me to unnecessary appointments as a kid. She injures her back the day before I’m having some bad seizures, and is mad when she tells my parents about what happened to me and they don’t acknowledge her back.
3 comments
Is it true? Did you parent skipped some necessary appointments when you were a kid?
And how often do you avoid telling your parents that you are having repeated seizures because “they get frustrated”?
I mean, your girlfriend needs to work on her tone. But it’s not clear to me if she is right or not about what is happening (and what happened in the past)
I think it’s awfully easy for your gf to be judgemental when she has no idea what your parents went through or all of the conversations they had with doctors as you were growing up.
Also, you were having seizure after seizure. Why would her back even register on their minds during that time? Their main concern was you and I’m sure, if you were fine and they found out she hurt her back, they would have asked how she was doing.
She needs to grow up a little.
Maybe try to focus on what’s truly important here. “Seizure after seizure” isn’t a situation you can just live with (and in most cases they can control this with the proper care – in extreme cases there are brain surgeries that help). People die of seizures, this isn’t just an inconvenience. Even if your parents dropped the ball on your medical treatment as a child you can still seek help. Whether your girlfriend or your parents agree is pretty irrelevant. Make stabilizing your disease your sole priority for now. If your girlfriend sticks by you while you go through that she might be a keeper. If she bails then she was never worth your time anyway. Get healthy, OP, then all this other stuff will be easier to manage.