This post is just me(21,F) venting out my thoughts and if you want to share some insights or ur opinion u r open to say….
I want to be in a serious long term relationship
Where u can let ur guard down for each other, n let the other person know ur flaws, ur weekness without judging, where there is immense trust and respect for each, where you just love each other to the moon and back…
I know from starting it won’t be like that, u need to put in efforts, time n trust for it, but the issue is where do i find someone who is ready for it, I’m 21, Female, during school life no one approached me, as i was the typical nerdy fat girl, “the undesirable types” u see in movies…
But after my school I have lost weight and acc. to my friend’s unbiased opinion, I have a looks of around 9 on 10 na personality (which includes intelligence, behavior etc) of 8 out of 10,
I had dropped out my college because health reasons n it was a woman’s college, now I’m doing my graduation from distance and few courses specifically for my desired career path…
I have tried dating apps in past (around 1year back) but nothing clicked, nothing moved forward after chatting phase, maybe cause I live in a tier 3 small town of odisha, no one has ever approached me seriously,
what should I do? It just that u sometimes feel the need of that particular person, like sometimes u get craving for a particular food item, I feel like i crave for love, i really have lovely parents, friends who love me to core but still i feel that void…
7 comments
It’s never too late to find the person you vibe with most, keep being yourself and the right person will find you in time.
Hey, I am in the same boat as you. As much as I want a boyfriend / partner in the moment, I am very happy enjoy the moment with myself. I believe the universe will bring the person for you to you. You will be placed in an environment where you will meet them. Patience is a virtue. Your person will come! Hope this helps!
> what should I do?
You live in a small town, marginal success with dating apps, marginal success in the wild. You worked really hard on your health and education (congrats btw!) but it sounds like you’re in a situation where even as a woman, you may have to go out and put in some effort in pursuing someone.
Have you tried approaching people you think are attractive?
> in my friend’s unbiased opinion
She can’t be unbiased if she’s your friend. Also I think many women have very *off* views of their friends’ attractiveness. Not saying it’s necessarily the case with you but something to keep in mind.
I sometimes feel this, too. But… I’m afraid that would simply lead me to get cheated and abandoned again when I least expect it.
Being lonely sucks, but relationships are very risky.
I feel this way too. I also seem to attract types who might be into me but aren’t down for anything serious or they might seem unavailable in some way.
So I decided that I needed to know why this happens to me. I’ve been getting into self help books when it comes to relationships and I’m trying to identify what energies I put out there that doesn’t attract the person I want and working to change that.
It’s a slow process but it’ll be rewarding and it’s also more fulfilling as you learn more about yourself and genuinely enjoy your own company and come to a state of being full. I think it’s important to have a sense of fullness before looking for a partner which is why I’m content to wait and do the work in the meantime.
Don’t worry. Things will look up. Just have some patience and if you have been in relationships before, take a moment to evaluate them and see what went wrong.
Keep at it, I’m sure you’ll find somebody. Coming from a 4 or 5/10 guy who’s happily in a relationship.
I just hope the comment about your appearance being 9 or 10 and personality 8 isn’t on your dating profile.
> my friend’s unbiased opinion
What a statement.