How do you get better at sharing thoughts and ideas?

3 comments

1. What helped me with sharing thoughts was this app. It feels good knowing that what I have replied to has helped someone in some way get better.

2. I struggle with this too and I found a few things that have helped:

   1) ask questions. I was always afraid to ask people questions about their lives and thoughts for a long time. My mindset was “if they want to share, they would, they don’t need me butting into their Buisness”, but I’ve since realized that this is the way friends and acquaintances are made. Not everyone will want to go super in depth, some may not be in the mood to talk at all. I focus on being okay with that and not letting it discourage me from trying again. Most times, people want to talk about their lives. They’ll eventually say something that you can connect to, and then you can share your thoughts. When you’re done, bring it back around to them and ask another question. It will at least keep the conversation going, and perhaps being you to more in depth discussion.

   2) to help with articulation… reading and writing are really the best ways. Write on paper, it helps process your thoughts. It doesn’t have to be good. Read articles and books about topics you’re interested in. About things that relate to you. About things that make you think deeper. Look up words you don’t know or that you realize could be taken in different ways. I found that the more reading I do, and the more I write about it, the more I can articulate my own thoughts and feelings. Many times I have read books and thought “I have felt/thought this my entire life, and I didn’t have the words to explain it until just now”.

   3) focus on your intention when having these conversations. What do you want to get out of it? Some light communication? Do you need to vent about a problem? Do you need help finding a solution to something? Do you want to express something?
   *The book “Difficult Conversations” by Douglas Stone was a tremendous help to me and my communication skills.*
   Even though it focuses on difficult conversations, you can easily apply the techniques to basically any interaction you have. I cannot recommend it enough. It talks about setting intention and expectations when wanting to communicate with someone, and how to make reasonable expectations so you don’t let yourself down. It also teaches you how to break down conversations so that you’re clear on what you want to say. If you’re really adverse to reading, listen to the book. Everyone I’ve recommended it to has loved it.

3. Being in professional settings where my input actually mattered – speaking up on the job to get better positions or pay, speaking up in class to get a better grade.. it helped me cherry-pick ideas on what I want to share. What is socially acceptable? What is me actually asking a question or contributing to the conversation? How can I properly / organically insert myself into this?

   Anxiety sucks so it took a while to figure it out.