Is it bad that I don’t have any friends, I don’t want any friends?

So I’m 25f and I don’t have any friends. I don’t want any friends either but lately I’ve been shown how not normal this is.

My brother is autistic but he is a social butterfly. I was diagnosed with autism when I was 15 yrs old, I always felt that in my interactions with people I am never truly myself. Like there was this distance between me and other people. Throughout my life I’ve never been allowed to be who I was, when I was myself I was always told I was weird or not to be me. My brother on the other hand was allowed to be himself, everyone took the time to understand who he was.
I grew up in a toxic environment, my mum could not make relationships last due to mental health issues and my social interactions were nothing but negative so that didn’t help.

A lot of my friendships have depleted over the years because I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore. Either I didn’t enjoy the friendships like I once did or we grew apart.

I’m trying to let my true self show in my social interactions and I’ve started with my work colleagues, taking small steps that are acceptable for the work type of environment (I also spent 24 weeks in therapy too over all my issues.)

I have been in a committed relationship for over 4 years now and I have learnt to be my own best friend.

I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy being my own best friend. I have built a strong relationship with myself because of how alone I have been, I have had moments in my life where I was the only person I could depend on. I find people to be too messy including myself, when I think of the possiblity of what I would want in a friendship nothing seems to make me want to make friends. I find people and friendships to be too chaotic. When I hear my brother talk about his friendship groups the majority of the time I’m glad I don’t have friends.

I enjoy going out by myself, doing things by myself. I always make sure that I find time for myself and I really cherish/nuture the bound between me and myself. I also enjoy doing things with my BF, I enjoy my social interactions in work but beyond that I have nothing.

I did try to pursue friendships last year, I set myself up on a friend app. I had people wanting to be friends with me but I just didn’t have a genuine interest in doing so, I was just doing it because of what my brother was saying to me.

Once in along time I came close to wanting to have a friendship with someone and that was my therapist, she was closer to my age. We had simular hobbies passions and we had a great connection straight away (obviously I didn’t pursue a friendship with her because that wouldn’t be healthy for me or for her.)

My brother tells me that not wanting friends isn’t normal, that if I had friends my life would be so much better.

I dont know, I’m starting to think that this isn’t okay but it’s never caused me any problems and the problems I do have I am sorting through them (like being myself more around people.)

Can anyone relate to this? What do you guys think?

Obviously I don’t want to die alone but I don’t need many people in my life to make me happy, i don’t need so many social interactions to make me happy.