If your woman is upset (at things in life), and is trying to talk about it, how do you respond or react?

14 comments

1. Actively listen and ask her if she need advice or an non-judgemental ear to vent to.

2. “Do you want me to just listen or do you want advice?”

3. I would mirror how she respond when I’m upset with something and trying to talk about it.

4. A friend of mine has learned that the moment his fiance starts talking when shes upset, he stops whatever hes doing, faces her and he listens, when she stops, he always gives her a hug and then says, “Advice or vent?” He understands that she doesn’t always want advice, she just wants to vent, he must be doing the right thing since they’ve been together for 8 years.

5. If I am doing something, I shut it down quickly. I move directly to her and ask her to tell me what is bothering her. I listen. I listen. I ask how I can help. Then I listen some more.

6. If I remember, I ask her if she wants a solution or if she just needs to vent about it.

7. It depends….. How long has she been upset at life? How does she usually deal with her anger? And honestly, how long is she likely to continue being miserable?

   If the answer is, she has been awful for ages / she never gets help / and future change doesn’t seem likely, then the answer is to dump her.

   Otherwise, if it’s a temporary thing, then you just listen and be understanding. If she wants your advice she will explicitly ask for it.

8. Depends on the subject. If she just wants to vent, listening is enough. If she is looking for a second opinion, I give it my two cents. If she wants guidance I provide it if I am qualified to do so or mybe refer her to someone who can help.

   And sometimes a hug and a kiss after she talked is all she needed. Suffice to say: Adapt to the needs in the situation so being a keen observer really helps.

9. shut up and listen, repeat back some of what you hear, say that sucks nod and look her in the eye. It’s not hard guys

10. “Is this a solution fix it thing or a you just want to vent thing?”

11. I sit down, listen, show love and support.

12. Like a rabbit.

13. Listening is a great first step. Not all issues require advice or a back and forth, some issues are relieved simply by talking about them

14. I sit down and tell her to get into my nook and talk to me.