Dating dilemma alert 🚨
Advice would be greatly appreciated 🙏
I’ve (24f) been seeing someone M (26M) for around 1 month on a sort of casual basis. I’m moving overseas in a few months so we both understand it’s a short term fling. I’ve found myself still getting really attached and caring a lot and unfortunately he doesn’t have a lot of time to spend with me as he spends most of his waking life at his boxing gym and we don’t have a set time to hang out again in the future. I’ve made it clear to him that I want someone who will make time for me and I’ve expressed that disappointment. He will reach out in the future when he frees up.
An old lover S has come out of the woodworks (29M) and is keen to link up again. It would be purely physical as that was the one thing that really worked when we were seeing each other. I ended it a few months back because I was noticing I was getting invested and getting quite anxious about him not meeting my needs and now I’ve gotten a clear head back and know that it only worked on an intimate level with us.
I’m in a dilemma because I’m unsure if it’s wrong to see S again. I’ve asked M how he feels about me seeing other people and he said he wasn’t super happy but I needed to do what I needed to do. From my perspective if he can’t make time for me then I don’t see why I should give him all of my own energy.
I really struggle with ethics and morals when it comes to sex because I’ve been raised very religious and have a lot of internalized slut shaming and not knowing how to act in these situations.
In terms of safety I would use protection and I have had a clean STD test
4 comments
If you’re considering having sex with someone else, why are you even trying to be with the first guy to begin with?
Like, starting a monogamous relationship with non-monogamy is like starting a house with playdough …. It’s not gonna end well
Sounds like guy A isn’t too keen but also knows he’s already letting you down and doesn’t see any reason to push things. I’d guess if you do hook up with guy B, guy A will never make time for you. (Whether he would’ve or not initially) If he finds out anyway.
>I’ve asked M how he feels about me seeing other people and he said he wasn’t super happy but I needed to do what I needed to do.
You should take a stand here. He has expressed his opinion and if you plan on continuing things with the other person it’s good to let M know about it and then hear out his opinion on whether he wants to continue this casual arrangement.
>An old lover S has come out of the woodworks (29M) and is keen to link up again. It would be purely physical as that was the one thing that really worked when we were seeing each other.
Also as a person who needs things more than just sex, why are you getting with another person just for sex?
Morally, I don’t see a problem.