I’ve noticed how I get upset at social media, swear to cut down on it, then drag myself back. Then the cycle repeats. Strava, IG, Facebook. At least with Reddit, I’m not expecting anyone to remember me.
I need to stop liking things and stop hoping to get likes. I stopped doing that with my photography, doing it for Instagram attention felt counter-artistic. But now I barely take or edit any photos.
I run with two clubs, and Strava is just another platform. I like other peoples activities, but in reality I want them to go check their Strava and like my run in return. And now I noticed that a bunch of people from one of the running clubs no longer like my runs. So instantly my brain goes to thinking there’s some plot against me. Where in reality I’m just a guy who runs with the sometimes. Outside of high-fives at the end of the run, there isn’t much chemistry.
I need to figure out a way to do things so I’m not doing them in hopes someone would comment or like something. But then it’s difficult to be present. To summit a mountain and not take a picture to post on IG. Then hope someone sees my 20 mile hike on Strava and acknowledge how much of an accomplishment that is.
I’m just venting. Don’t really have that many friends that want to go on 20+ mile hikes with me, but then I don’t get invited to many things either. Brain also likes to think it’s because I quit drinking. Most of my friends drink, and the run clubs meet at bars. Fuck that social lubricant.
Thank you for reading. Already feels nice to put this in word.
1 comment
Maybe it helps you to know there’s people like me, who hardly ever put likes or votes. I see a post about someone’s run, I’m impressed, but I just don’t reach for the button.
In general, I don’t think it’s wrong to sometimes be motivated by what other people say. After all, any one person’s world is small and limited. For example, with the photos, you take them, you see what you see and adjust to your liking, and that’s that, there’s nothing more to do. But if another person says they like this and dislike that, there is something new to think about, and maybe next time you try a different technique, etc. It’s only when you do this to the extent of losing your own perspective – as you said, unable to be present for your own experiences because all you’re thinking of is others’ experience of your experience – that it becomes a problem.
So whenever you find yourself not being present, gently remind yourself that your life is for you, and come back to it. Don’t get judgmental with yourself; all you need is to keep reminding, and soon, you will reinforce that better habit.
With running, what new thing does a “like” tell you? That you accomplished something? You already knew that, and it is not any less an accomplishment if nobody comments. That somebody cares? But how much do you really care yourself when you click on the button for someone else? Etc. Think about what you really want, and instead of getting upset over your number of likes, and spinning into paranoia about plots, go for that. Express your pride in what you did instead of quietly waiting for someone to notice. If everyone in your group only “likes” and never actually comments, maybe you can be the one to change the dynamic by posting actual words of praise and encouragement. You’re the best judge of your situation, so think about it.