Emotions and emotional intelligence play significant roles in our lives, yet discussing them openly can sometimes feel challenging. How do you personally cultivate and express emotional intelligence in your daily life? What strategies have you found effective in navigating and understanding your own emotions, as well as those of others? Let’s exchange insights and experiences, and explore the importance of emotional intelligence in personal growth and relationships.
6 comments
I found acting classes helped. Look at other people, think of what they want and what they’re willing to do to get it. Put yourself in their place.
I find that making a point to take in experiences outside of your normal day-to-day life, whether that’s through movies, TV, books, other art, or just widening your social sphere (or moving somewhere new, especially if you’ve lived the same place your whole life) makes a huge difference in so many areas of social and emotional wellbeing.
I think that’s one of the upsides of modern access to people across wider areas through the internet as well, because it becomes much easier to see what people of all kinds go through and think and feel and teaches you so much about how *you* work as well.
Therapy helped a ton. I’ve always been extremely introspective, but it’s real easy to misjudge situations and other people when you’re so wrapped up in your own thoughts and feelings. Both for good and for ill. I even ran into a problem where I’d go, “well this is how *I* feel and I’m obviously biased on my behalf. Reality may not reflect what I believe it does.” That made it more difficult for me to sort out my own thoughts and feelings.
Talking to a therapist who both validated what I was thinking and feeling and helped me re-examine thoughts and feelings that weren’t “right” (unhealthy/unrealistic thoughts/feelings) was liberating.
For me it was loneliness. Got no one to focus on except myself so there was a lot of introspection going on.
Delete this.
I’m autistic, and struggle with alexithymia, and low EI.
Introspection is the primary tool I have. It’s basically thinking, ruminating, imagining. Step back from
an emotion, isolate it, and try to compare it to events, known feelings, cause and effect chains. See how the feeling relates to other feelings. Rationalize as much as possible.
Through this, sometimes I can figure out other people better than they can themselves. Lots of people are oblivious to their own inner workings, motivations, relationships between their feelings and actions, etc.
But, the emotional landscape is infinite. There’s plenty I am clueless about, or simply cannot relate to. Fully relating means feeling the actual feeling with all the same connections.
I enjoyed MDMA in the ‘90s because a) it was safer due to supply considerations, and b) it aligned emotions (we called it empathy, not just ecstacy) such that we could connect, understand, and feel what each other felt. There’s no space for this in my life these days, but there are therapy protocols for trauma sufferers that utilizes MDMA and guided therapy. This should be helpful for those with proper guidance and access.
In the ‘90s, I also had guides into LSD experiences. LSD lets you see into places in your mind that you hide from yourself, and guves a lot more mental energy to introspect. Unguided, it can lead to self-trauma, but guided can lead to epiphanies. There are psychedelic therapies using dissociatives or psychedelics that show great promise for depression, anxiety, and trauma. Again, no room for this in my life these days, but with a proper therapy protocol, I think this can unlock a lot for peoples’ self-awareness.
YMMV. Some people just need a good vacation, and all’s well. Some people need lifelong meds, or ongoing CBT. Just keep trying things, safely, with support, until you find what works for you.