What would you do if you were outside on a park bench with your so and they said you should stop sitting ‘so unfeminine’?

28 comments
  1. Would need to know more about the context of the comment, but sounds rather hurtful and controlling.

  2. I’d laugh because if he ever said this it would clearly be a joke. If he sounded serious I’d ask when he became a fucking misogynist, followed by a lecture on how harmful this is.

  3. Laugh at them, obviously. I can’t imagine being in a romantic relationship with someone who would say something like that seriously.

  4. Like others say, I can’t even imagine that hypothetical situation. Maybe it would be said as a lame joke, in which case I’d be worried what happened to his sense of humor all of the sudden.

  5. If he said that he would be joking. My boyfriend often makes jokes about how i sit because i’m too short to reach the ground. So i’d just go along with the joke.

  6. Maintain eye contact and a neutral face while putting my arms behind my head while slouching back into the bench with my legs spread, and laugh.

    I’d first assume it’s a joke and that he’s imitating men who feel the need to control how women sit; but if he genuinely meant it and was that type of individual? I wouldn’t want a person like that in my life.

  7. honestly, id burst out in laughter. that’s ridiculous and im not entertaining that

  8. Take it as a flashing bright signal that we aren’t compatible.

    One, I am not the one to date for someone looking for a traditionally feminine woman. And two, how condescending to say such a thing to their partner.

  9. I’d honestly break up. That’s a window into a whole world of misogyny that I want no part of.

  10. Ask them what they mean and why they said something like that.

    That’s pretty rude, judgmental, and controlling of them and would illustrate that they had some weird insecurities and hangups about gender, so it would be important for me to understand what prompted that. It would certainly be a cautionary flag for me if an SO said it. Depending on how deeply that vein of misogyny, gendered expectations, and insecurity goes, it might be best to rethink that partnership.

  11. well that’s a tossup between “stop policing my gender expression”

    and “you should stop flapping your mouth if all you’re gonna say is dumb shit”

  12. Look at them confused and try to understand what that even means. I’m not great at understanding when people are being serious and when they’re making jokes, but usually when he says things that don’t make sense to me, it’s some kind of joke or reference I don’t understand.

  13. I would just turn and look at him with a “did I just hear you right” look then look back to whatever I was looking at that is if I’m not tired if I’m tired I’d ignore him not worth the energy

  14. I’d burp and/or fart and start obnoxiously scratching my cooch. I’ll show you ‘unfeminine’, fucko. :’)

  15. Give them one chance to amend the statement, sometimes things come out wrong. If they were serious they might want to get comfortable because the impending lecture would be walking them through a hundred years of feminist rage fueled history anecdotes, the oppressive tactics of the patriarchy as a whole, and a thorough lesson on misogyny. There would be no shutting me up and I would be manspreading the entire time. I’m like a dog with a bone, if they didn’t appropriately adjust their behavior and apologize with genuine understanding for the harm that was behind that statement… I would circle back to the topic every time we spoke and the only changing the subject would be if they got the damn point or to breakup. I’m a great time at parties.

  16. Laugh and keep sitting like that because this ain’t the old times. Most women I know sit like that anyways

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