Edit: Please give this a proper read before responding, thank you.
So yeah, I just talked to the girl I liked and she wasn’t engaged at all, she was just giving me one worded or short answers (same exact thing with the first one I talked to). I introduced myself and shook her hand, then I proceeded to ask her about some basic small talk stuff and she said “anything” to all my questions (btw I didn’t tell her anything about me and at the same time she never asked anything). Less than 2 minutes of things going nowhere and I decided to leave. So yeah no success there but I still have more girls that I want to talk to, I’m hoping that it’ll go well.
But idk, maybe I’m doing something worng. I know I’ve only talked to two girls, but still, I was hoping for at least some engagement. Is it like this all the time? Is it that easy to tell? Because if so then I’ve been underestimating my ability to read social cues this whole time (for all these years).
Side note: I did have my earbuds in when I talked to her so maybe that does something, but again, let me know if that’s a factor.
Anyway, I just wanted to share a quick success story of me talking to the girl I like and ask for some advice, thank you all for reading.
7 comments
She not interested in knowing you
Move on
Definitely take off the earphones. The grand jesture of taking them off and getting them in the box in front of a person is a huge signal “I really want to converse with you”. It’s stronger than if you were already without earphones.
Not saying it played a big part here… but I say this for future interactions.
I am terrible in first interaction with members of the opposite sex. However, I have heard that you should ask open ended questions that require more than a yes/no answer.
Well, my friend, the best thing is to just be you and do not try to fit yourself into someone else’s mold. Be confident in who you are and do what makes you happy. Find your girl while doing that and you’ll find someone fitting for you.
Definitely remove the earbuds, but also, where and when are you talking to these girls? Unless you’re in a social setting (ex. at a party), having someone randomly approach you is strange. Also, do you know them personally at all? Since they didn’t even know your name, I’m going to guess not. As a woman, having a man who is stranger or near-stranger approach me in a non-social setting is not only a little strange, but depending on how he behaves, where we are, how many other people are around, and what time of day it is, it can be a little frightening. Just introducing yourself any old place and time might work if it’s something like the first week of college, where next to nobody knows each other and everyone is a little awkward and desperately trying to meet new people, but apart from that it’s weird. As a woman, if a guy I didn’t know from Adam approached somewhere like the grocery store or the library (non-social environments) and immediately shook my hand and started chatting me up my reaction would be “huh? What does this guy want?” But if it happened at a party or at a bar I’d just think he was being sociable.
I don’t get the feel that she wants to be a friend.. and that’s not what he wanted
It’s hard to be a friend with someone you want romantically
Usually randomly going up to an unsuspecting person and asking them questions doesn’t work well. It sounds like it possibly came off as forced and she may have felt confused or uncomfortable.
I think it’s better to build a connection little by little. Usually that comes with a lot of smaller interactions.