Women of Reddit, how long would/did you wait to be proposed to?

49 comments

  1. I didn’t have an exact time. It just needed to feel right. I wouldn’t wait around for years and years, though.

  3. My boyfriend is hinting around getting proposed to me this summer. That will make us dating at 4.5 years of waiting. We are exciting for the next step of marriage now that we’ve fully been able to see the ups and downs of living together and asking each other a lot of questions to dig deep before making the plunge into marriage for life and perhaps a family past our two puppies.

  4. I waited 12 years. We started dating the last year of high school, so we wanted to wait until we were both done college, had a place of our own, and had stable jobs before getting married. I know our scenario isn’t “typical” so I’m not sure how long I would’ve waited otherwise. But we knew what we wanted and our life goals aligned with each other’s and that’s just how long it took for us to be in the mindset to get married.

  5. I waited a year and a half. We were friends for a while before we dated.

  8. …I wasn’t proposed to. My SO and I had repeated discussions throughout our relationship about what we each wanted and where we were; we decided to get married, together. I suppose it’s not the cliche romantic schtick, but I’m also a grown ass woman who doesn’t need to be proposed to. I’d rather have an adult discussion between equals.

    If you want to be proposed to, make sure you’re clear about that with your partner.

    If you have some kind of timeline in your mind, or stress about where things are, *TALK* with your partner about it. Be sure you’re in a calm place, then: talk; listen. Rinse, repeat.

  10. Not long. I think it surprised him as much as it did me when the words popped out of his mouth.

    My initial answer was that we needed to talk about some things first to see if we were completely compatible.

    We did. And we had mostly similar values.

    He proposed again after a special dinner not much later. I said yes

  11. I’m about to turn 24 and I’ve been in a long term relationship since age 21, so almost 3 years. I’ve given it in my head until 5-6 years in. I’ll be 26-27. I would like to be married before I turn 30. It’s not even necessarily engagement I need by then, but I would definitely need verbal long term commitment and actions that reflect that to be more solidified.

  15. We were like 6.5 years in when my fiance proposed. It was fine for me because I knew he was in it with me for the long hall. We had that conversation four years prior when we decided to move in together. He told me he would have liked to propose earlier but life happened – COVID, we moved three times in three years, major surgery, fiance got laid off from his job…it was a lot!

    I think the big thing is to be on the same page about where the relationship is going. I can’t imagine just sitting around waiting to see if I was proposed to or not to determine if my partner wanted to marry me.

  16. We’ve been together for over 8 years. It took my fiancé 6 years to propose.

  17. So I waited 6.5 years – got married at the 7th year mark. But we got engaged at 24, then married by 25. So we were together a while but we were young. Anyway, I was divorced by 27 because he was an asshole and I was blinded by his potential rather than seeing him for who he actually was.

    I’ve been with my boyfriend now for 9 months. He will move in after the 1 year mark (I own a house so he moves here). I’d like to be engaged no longer than like 2.5 years in, 2 years preferably.

  19. I wasn’t really proposed to, we just kinda…agreed it was time after 4 years. 3 years later we’re still engaged lol

    I was 24 when we started dating, so waited until 28. Life has gotten in the way otherwise we’d have planned a wedding by now. But hey, what’s the rush if we’re in it to win it together, right?

  20. 4 years (We’re looking at venues this weekend!). If it hadn’t happened when it did, there would have been a conversation.

  24. Women can also propose (and often do). I would wait 10 years. 10 years is perfect to being proposed or I propose to someone.

  26. Does it count as a proposal if your boyfriend turns to you from the driver’s seat and says, “Huh! I guess we’re going to get married!”

  27. Waited? 4 years.

    Would wait? 2-3 years

    By the time he proposed the relationship had died from inertia.

  28. We lightly discussed it around 4 years and by the 5th year we knew were gonna get married and he officially proposed.

  29. We started dating in college so it was like.. almost 10 years hahah alot happened though.

    I never “waited” but I think he started thinking about it more when our friends were all turning into married couples. It wasn’t a big surprise or anything huge when it happened. I loved it and I loved him but it already felt like we were married by the time it came around. I would have been fine doing either at that point. It does make some paperwork easier though so that’s a bonus!

  30. I proposed to my husband after a year of dating. We have been married for 11yrs.

  31. We dated for since I was 18 and he was 22. Got engaged 4 years later (last Oct.), getting married after we get settled in our new home and save up for whatever we decide to do! No rush for us

  32. I was with my ex for 2 yrs. My ex husband proposed at 3 months, dont recommend. He hid his true self for 3 yrs.

  33. It really depends on maturity and age. Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years and plan on marrying each other.. but we’re only 20-21. We *know* we are the ones for each other, but we both need to mature some more first before getting into the wedding/marriage scene.

  34. We started to discuss getting married 4-ish months after we started dating, and got engaged at the 6 month mark.

  37. 5 years.

    We knew and agreed it was going to happen, but I wanted something out of the way first: student debt. It took three years post-graduation to pay off all of my student loans and when I did it had already been nearly 4.5 years. By that time my husband (then-fiance) bought our first home and shortly after he popped the question.

    Worth every second ❤️ I’d do it all again and marry him a dozen times over!! I love and adore him so much

  38. Been together 6 years, and no proposal yet. I’ll wait till we both feel ready

  40. My husband and I dated for 8 years before we got married and then we talked about it and decided together that it was an idea we wanted to go for so we started planning the wedding and he “proposed” to me a few weeks before the wedding because it was the anniversary of the day we met – we had been working on the wedding for months at that point so it really did surprise me!

    It wasn’t me waiting for him, I didn’t want to get married until I completed a few things in my life and so dating worked for us for a long time. We are both glad to be married, but it wasn’t needed at that time and isn’t for everyone.

  41. Honestly I’d probably do the proposing. Not sure how long I’d wait, but a good 3-5 years at least.

  42. 3 years. Known each other since we were 14/15. Started officially dating at 25. We had a lot of talks about marriage prior to the proposal.

    As for how long I’d wait? For as long as it took for us both to be ready. It took me awhile to get there because “boyfriend” no longer felt like an appropriate description but I realized I just wanted to be with him, no matter the title.

  43. I dated a guy for 5 years and we had every intention of getting married. But he didn’t propose. Then broke up with me. Then married another woman within 2 years of knowing her.

    But tbh it’s for the best. It hurt at the time, but then he became a Trump supporter so I didn’t mind not being married.

  44. Dated for 4 years. In the 3rd year marriage kept coming up in conversations and we decided together we wanted to get married. He proposed at the beginning of year 4 and we got married at the end of it.

  45. Eight years, but it wasn’t like I was silently waiting and hoping for a proposal all that time. We talked about it, but a wedding wasn’t our priority much earlier.

  48. been dating my bf for almost 6 years and we have no intentions of getting married. so in my case, not waiting for it, just happy with what we have ☺️

  49. Just got engaged this year! He proposed in March, and our 10 year dating anniversary is in June 2023, so I guess we waited almost 10 years!!

    We’ve been together since I was 20, and he was 24. We have a house together, a joint account, a dog, two cats (and have lost our first cat together in that time), etc. so we were clearly serious about each other.

    I didn’t really feel ready to be engaged until last year, when I turned 30. Before then, I wasn’t opposed to it but also wasn’t looking to be engaged. I’m not sure what changed, though I do think part of it was driven by finally finishing my masters program this year.

    We’ll be married next year after celebrating 11 sating anniversaries together!

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