What makes a good friend? What do you look for when meeting other women?

16 comments

1. Zero judgment. Not just in me but in others. If I make a friend and I notice her getting off to dogging someone e else about anything, I’m usually out.

2. Empathetic. Mutual interests

3. Positive non-competitive vibes, calm personality, listens, personal responsibility, honesty, does not shout, likes dogs, reliable, can accurately read between the lines, trusts her gut instinct, not very dogmatic or into militancy, not malicious nor a nosy parker.

4. Authenticity and empathy.

   I stayed friends with a lot of backstabbers in my younger years because I thought they were actual friends and not meanies with hidden agendas. I also can’t befriend anyone who lacks empathy for others, especially marginalized groups of people.

   Other than that I can get along really well with mostly anyone 🙂

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6. I look for honesty, fun banter, and acceptance. Those are three traits that are hard to find, especially honesty. I’ve had encounters of “honesty” actually being shady behavior and being rude. Why so shady? What’s the purpose of it?

7. Low maintenance friendships are the best. You can live your own life, not physically see each other for months on end but still readily pick up back where you left off when you meet again. I see that these type of frienship also grows with you and transcends time.

8. I dont want toxic positivity, I dont want constant negativity. I like people who aren’t too polite or too rude.

   I like people who are real, frustrated sometimes, unhappy sometimes, but also able to appreciate the good stuff too, find humor and hope in life.

   I make easier friends with people who can open up with the good and the bad, I find that I struggle maintaining friendships with people who are super polite and positive all the time, feels very closed off and stand offish, or super negative all the time and complaining about everything.

   I also appreciate a person who can hold a conversation. We dont have to have common interests even, I am happy to learn something new or listen to you telling me something that interests you.

   I think these are mostly common sense and easy to achieve.

   If we have a similar sense of humor, thats a huge plus. Bffs forever.

9. Empathy, self-awareness, curiosity, and passion. I want to be able to share cool or weird or deep stuff with my friends and have them share theirs with me, in a way that elevates and energizes us all together!

10. This doesn’t just go for women for me, as all of my current friends are men, but:

    Someone fun and relaxed, above all. An easy-going person who doesn’t immediately come with expectations and demands, but just enjoys hanging out with someone he likes, no strings attached.

    Someone I share hobbies with, that allows us to build and cultivate the friendship through activities and a mutual love and passion for things in life.

    Someone “low-maintenance” who isn’t in need of much random talking and catching up, but is safe and comfortable in the friendship even if you don’t share everything with each other, or see each other much in periods. The people I’ve trusted the most I never had a emotionally open relationship with, but we still both knew that our doors always were open for the other the second they needed it. There was so much trust and safety without any need for words or verbal vulnerability.

11. I don’t deal with competitive women. At all. They’re tedious and will inevitably harm you or try to harm you.

12. I like having mutual interests, or at least one mutual interest. For me is essential to have respect, and also respect for my time (like I hate people that are chronically late) they need to have good sense of humour, and don’t be too clingy or to demand time. They need to have personal responsibility, like dogs and kids, or respect dogs and kids and have a low maintenance friendship. Like life is full, I want friends to talk to, have dinner, invite to talk over coffee or a drink. I am not looking for a teenager friendship where you are all the time together or where is just drama all the time

13. I have a few very good friends and my best friend. My best friend describes our relationship as “ride or die”, we’re very different people in so many regards, but we’ve been with each other though so much. We both share an important trait that makes us incredible friends: loyalty. I can always count on her, she can always count on me, on the best days we celebrate together, on the worst days we cry together.

    My few friends generally share the same value of loyalty, our friendship is a quiet but constant thing, not built on mutual interests alone but on similar values.

14. Active listening, ability to hold a conversation, general disinterest in gossip, empathy, someone who is authentic, easygoing but not a total follower, at least one shared interest or hobby. Also, someone who is not personally offended every time I don’t have time to hang out some parts of my year are very busy and I might only see them once in that month and it doesn’t mean that I don’t like them anymore.

15. My best friend is always honest with me. He doesn’t judge me. Calls me out when I’m going overboard with anything. He is always there for me. And I do this for him too. He has been my best friend for 20 years. And honestly I would have an easier time finding a new bf than to replace my best friend.

16. Some genuine that I have a connection with and feel comfortable around