So basically I’m in my late 20s and a virgin. Never held hands with a guy.
There’s this guy whom I’ve been talking to for the past 4 years online. We have never met in real life before and he told me that he will be visiting my country next week. He asked if he can see me and I said yes.In our online conversations, we were flirting and exchanged some sexual messages. I lied that I’m not a virgin which is a lie. I am completely new to sex.
On top of that, I have vaginismus. Should I just have sex with him? I won’t most likely see him again once he returns to his country. I am not holding my breath but yeah. I’m extremely nervous as to how this will unfold.
5 comments
I think the best thing you can do around sex is to openly and honestly communicate.
If you want to have a good experience just tell him the truth and be honest about what you want.
Also “have sex” isn’t kind of a single monolithic thing, there’s a lot of different activites you can do and you can take it nice and slow etc. Just holding hands, just kissing, just touching each other can be magical and can be really good and fun and enough for early experiences.
There’s no rules to the game, you can just make it how you want it so long as you discuss it and are open about it.
Well you have not started this out very well by lying to him and if you have vaginismus, you need to tell him. It could mean he is not able to penetrate you and that could be a very uncomfortable situation for both of you.
Stick with oral or manual sex.
You have not told enough about yourself and the thoughts you have shared with him for others to answer yes or no. In the meantime, here are comments.
Notably, you do not express much desire for sex with him. Granted, if you had no lust for him, you wouldn’t be considering sex. Still, we can wonder whether you lust after him or whether you just want to stop being a virgin.
Lying about your level of sexual experience was a very foolish thing to do. It is of the highest importance that you tell him the truth before you meet him.
It would probably be best to have mutual oral sex instead of vaginal. Vaginismus seems to be relatively common even among women who are not virgins. A virgin with vaginismus trying to have vaginal penetration is a recipe for disappointment.
[deleted]
>Should I just have sex with him?
That’s something you should discuss with him. Also a person over the internet could sound and be different in person. As it’ll be your first time it’s imperative that you do it with someone you trust completely as that could make it easier and a bit special.