So I went through my bfs phone because the other day I saw him deleting texts and I wanted to be sure there was no one else. I looked at his hidden photos in his camera roll and found 1. Intimate videos of me that I didn’t give him permission to take and 2. A video of a different girl in a bikini that looked like he screen recorded but it wasn’t porn or anything. How do I bring up the conversation to him? I am worried he will be angry at me for going through his phone. He’s said in the past he wouldn’t get mad at me if I went through it and that he’ll let me because he has nothing to hide but I still feel like he’ll get angry because I did find something I didn’t like and because lately every time I bring s problem up gets mad.
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If he gets mad at you after taking intimate vids without your permission, he’s being manipulative. Tbh this is incredibly bad as it…
“Hey I know it was wrong, and I shouldn’t go through your phone without talking to you about it first. I was feeling insecure in our relationship and knew you were deleting text messages. I looked at your hidden photos and found a video of myself I didn’t know you had taken. It’s making me feel like I can’t fully trust you in intimate moments…..”
Well, I expect you deleted the video right?
If you did, you can always just ask him if you can see his hidden photos on his phone, 3 things will happen here;
1. He will leave, and delete the video in order to not get busted, this would be gone, and he would realise you already saw it.
2. He will show it to you without deleting it.
3. He will refuse.
Scenario 1, is pretty evident a conversation opener.
Scenario 2, well he might be surpriced it’s gone, but still a conversation opener.
Scenario 3, if he refuse you can always ask him if it’s because of the video he took of you without permission or if it’s because of the bikini video.
take this shit to the police. what he did is illegal and a HUGE violation.
Honestly, he should be scared of you after you exposing him. If he is not, the guy has got guts. You should speak out to him clearly. Who knows he has more of it in his phone? Who knows who he sends or gets the videos from?
Maybe, you should check his phone more often without him knowing.
Go nuclear on his ass. What he did to you is ten times worse than you snooping around anyway (I don’t condone it but looks like there was distrust already).
Taking intimate video of you without permission? Make him delete it in front of you. Make him show you any cloud storage he has.
I would dump him after. Thats me though not you. If you want to give him another chance make him grovel a bit before taking him back.
If he says its no big deal ask him if he minds you asking local PD that.
This is a huge deal, I hope you truly understand the gravity of this situation.
This is grounds to break up, or to go to the police.
This is a form of covert violence. Your consent clearly doesn’t matter to your boyfriend. God knows what his intention is with that video, at best, personal use, at worst… I’ll let you imagine.
He has completely disregarded your autonomy and your right to consent. This isn’t the type of person you need to be worried about upsetting.
I think you should break up with somone who takes videos of you without permission and have so little trust in you would snoop through their phone behind their back.
He has a right to be pissed about you violating his privacy. Now you sit there and complain that he has some photos of you on his phone and try to twist it and say he’s a creep. I hope he dumps the fuck out of you.
Just ask him about it. Don’t let him keep a intimate video of you ever. That is how shit gets on the internet. I have taken videos with my wife without her permission. When we are done playing I show her the video and we either like what we see or don’t like it. It can be a turn on or off. Either way it gets deleted before we get our clothes on.
Ewww you should have deleted the video because it was taken without your permission and then went nuclear on his ass! Wtf! Stop wanting to coddle bad behavior from men! Wanting to keep peace is why so many people get in horrible situations! Fuck that! He knew better than to do that!