I’ve never been good at flirting and as time has gone on since I’ve been married I’ve gotten worse. My wife has brought it up to me that she wants me to flirt more with her again and I’m not sure what to do. She likes the lovey dovey stuff, but I do that to much. She also wants me to dirty talk a bit more, but when time comes to do that my brain goes completely blank, and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t ruin a mood or two by saying the wrong things. I need so advice to bring those aspects of our relationship out of the slump it’s in right now.
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Spit in her mouth, or ask her to spit in your mouth.
It’ll get you’ll loosened up.
Dirty talk – start with:
– you are so hot right now
– love when you do that
– you are making me so hard right now
– what are you wearing under that dress? Tell me
– I want you right now
– tell her to go to the bedroom and get undressed – then wait 30 seconds and follow – be half undressed when you get there
– I’ve been thinking about you all day
– it’s so hot when you do that (whatever that is)
– I want you on top
– no, keep those heels on
– if out to dinner or somewhere – whisper into her ear – “we should get out of here right now- you’re driving me nuts in that dress”
She has opened a door for you. Start the dirty talk slow in the foreplay time. Then ramp it up later. Remember you can do dirty things like hold her throat or push her head into the pillow. Also try putting all her hair in one of your hands and pulling slightly. Then hard enough so her head pulls back and she is looking up. It won’t hurt but she’ll love it.
She is also likely asking you to be a bit more dominant. Use your words. Tell her exactly what you want her to do. Move her body around in bed – move her into the position.
You also need to master the “transition to the bed room”. This means you either grab her hand in the kitchen and start kissing/undressing. Make it very aware that when you get to the bedroom you want to have sex or just have sex in the kitchen. If she says I’m going to bed then say “no not right now. Come here”
For the flirting – this starts with touching. Touch her shoulders when you kiss her good bye. Grab her waist and pull her in for a second. Hold her hand in the car. Tell her she looks good. “Wow you look amazing – surely we should just stay home and see what’s underneath that dress”. – this becomes the set up for transition to the bedroom later.
There’s also a book called married man’s sex life primer. Try looking that up.
Find an adult app and/or questionnaire to spice things up a bit… it’s helped with my wife and I.
Flirty is just “playful” mixed with “sex/innuendo” that happens *before* sex. Let her know that you are thinking about her even (or especially) at times when nothing can come of it. Let her know that you enjoy the wind-up and that kissing, cuddling, hugging, and groping are fun even if they don’t lead to anything else.
Dirty talk is just variations on “what I’m *going* to do to you”, “what I *am* doing to you”, “what I *did* to you”. “I’m *going* to f#€k you”, “I *am* f#€king you”, “I totally f#€ked you”. Than experiment and expand according to you and your partner. Be sure to follow up afterwards to hear about what worked and what didn’t. (I’ve had partners who loved demeaning names, and others for whom that would totally kill the mood. TALK to *your* partner about what works for her.)
One idea is schedule the sex and then _slowly_ woek up to it.
Morning: linger on good morning kiss and say “I am going to make.love to you tonight.” Then get up. Make her coffee. Don’t mention it agin until
Leaving for work: grab bum on good bye kiss. Say, “I will be thinking about you all day.”
When you two see each other at end of day. Again, a more passionate kiss than usual. Look for her mood. Is she reciprocating. You have to leave her a way to say no. So follow up with a “I hope you want me as much as I want you.” At this point LISTEN. Do you get a kiss back or a playful smile. Yahtzee. Do you get a negative reply? If so, knock it off immediately with ” Okay love, I will find another day to ravish you.”
An our before bedtime, no sad tv, make sure she is jot doing chores…
At time: “I want you now.”