Yesterday I was joking with my boyfriend, we have been officially in a relationship since April.I said I’d be happier buying an Audi at this age (20) than having kids at this age. He took it really badly and doesn’t even want to talk to me. He knows that I don’t want kids, and if I do only when I’m 30+, and he is fine with it. I don’t understand the issue. Like I never said I’d prefer it over having any kids with you as I’d rather have a brand new car at the age of 20 than have children !! It might have been a harsh joke, but come on so sensitive. I cannot even talk to him without making an issue out of anything I say, turning me off.
Was it too harsh, even though it was the truth?
TL;DR: I’m F 20 years and my boyfriend M 25 years. Known each other for 8 months, together for nearly 2 months
4 comments
You guys just need to sit down and have a serious discussion. At 20? Not being ready for kids right now should be normal and not cause a reaction
Sounds like he’s just sensitive. Everyone’s so sensitive haha. Let it cool off, if this happens all the time, he might just need to adjust to your sense of humor. Orrrr ya might not be all that compatible. I used to make jokes that my fiancé would always get upset about. Now I don’t make those jokes. I like to ride my buddies a little when we’re playing games. But not her lol not her thing. It’s one kind of joking out of many kinds. Sometimes you can do without it.
Something is up. But you have two issues going on:
Firstly, what the hell is is going on in his mind that he is upset that his 20 year old girlfriend doesn’t want to have children yet, and made an off the cuff joke about it? Is it even that simple? Could it be more complicated than that? After all, having children, the timing of children, birth control, abortion and all of that is very damn complicated currently. This could be a bigger discussion than what you think.
Secondly, and very importantly your 25 year old boyfriend doesn’t know how to communicate when he is upset. I truly believe one of the most critical points of a new relationship is the first disagreement. Seeing how your new love interest behaves when conflict arises gives you insight on exactly how miserable your life can become. Conflict in life is inevitable, your partner can share the load and become a team with you, or make every little bump a bloody nightmare. Put the issue itself out of your head for a while and perform a little experiment, concentrate on how long he makes you pay for upsetting him and what it will cost you to make him treat you like girlfriend again.
Guys now I told him like right now I want to study not looking to have any kids, I want kids when I’m proud of the work I do. You know what he told me? ‘Yeah it’s true all you care about is studying’ Like I have my exams in a week what does he expect 😭 I cant even study with all this anxiety about him. He wont respond my calls or messages now.