I (M37) and my girlfriend (F32) is a new relationship (3 months). We live apart but is talking about moving in together within the next half year.
In general the relationship has been frictionless and full of love, but we have had one specific issue come up a few times.
I work in an high-paid job and earns about 3-4x net/month her. I am of the assumption that it is important both parties contribute to the relationship, but it has to be fair and I don’t want to put an economic burden on her. I also want to invest in us and make sure we can have freedom to have nice experiences.
I do love to take her out and is happy to pay when I do so, but the issue comes up when we are agreeing to do something together eg going on a trip and booking a hotel for that purpose.
In these situations, I feel like the cost is also pushed to me (eg she steps away from the card reader). It makes me feel as cash cow and that I’m there for the money.
We have talked about this and this is not her intention. She will be happy to share the costs (when confronted about it) but for me, it’s more about the situation and the feeling I get as being forced/“exploited”rather than the money.
How can one solve for this?
I have been thinking about we could set up a shared account where we transfer money to every month to use as a dating account both for date expenses and future plans. I would gladly offer to pay 4x the amount she is paying eg a 200€ vs 800€ split. I am unsure however how such proposal is perceived by others.