He still doesn’t want a relationship….WTF

This is long I apologize, but its a dating story 7 months in the makingI started talking to this guy in November I met on tinder, instant chemistry, talk for hours, fun dates, great sex. We both haven’t been in a relationship since leaving our previous spouses, both were in 15 year long relationships. I have been single for 2 years while he separated from his ex last July both of us have sons around the same age with our exes. I left an abusive relationship, his ex cheated on him for a few years before leaving him for that guy. Obivously with both have had some healing to do. I’ve done therapy to deal with why I would stay in such a toxic marriage for so long and made some major life changes. I’ve had my reservations about him being ready to date, but I made my intentions clear in the beginning that I was sick of superficial dating. I’ve dated a lot but I’ve let no one get close to me, I have never slept over with a guy and have not been exclusive with anyone. I’m not dating for marriage, hell I don’t think I’ll ever live with a guy again, but I want to share my life with someone.

At some point in January things changed, he started to pull back, so I brought it up and we talked about not rushing into anything, its a big change for me to spend the weekend with someone let alone jump to titles. We agreed that we are exclusively sleeping with each other but not exclusively dating each other, and if that changes we need to discuss it but he again laminates he’s not talking or seeing anyone else. I bring up maybe I shouldn’t sleep over everytime, he shuts that down, saying its too late at night, its not safe to drive at that time.Fast forward a few months and I’m fine with our arrangement, we talk every single day, he gets “mad” if I watch a movie that’s just come out without him, or finish a series he put me on without him. He always treats me very well, makes me breakfast, gives me massages ect. I’ve even tried ignoring him to see if he’s really interested or just responding. No, if I don’t text back or call he will double text or call until I answer.

His ex often changes plans last minute and we would usually reschedule but then he invites me to a movie with his son, cool. It was casual and fun. Then I sleep over with his son there. He has made this list of things he’d like to do with the boys over the summer, and he’d like them to meet. Since I’m there more often his son sees mine on facetime they start chatting and are becoming friends, its cute. Now I’m spending entire weekends with them both. He sends me a text, that he asked his son what was the favourite part of the weekend and his son said my name.

So naturally its time to have a convo about what we are doing here, I think we should be exclusive if were bringing kids into the mix. He reiterates he DOES NOT want a relationship but he’s not seeing anyone else and he really cares about me. I hang up to digest that info, super confused. I don’t know what to do, but I don’t think I’ll be introducing my kid. He double downs on affection the next day, asks to me dinner to thank me for something I helped him with.I know he’s traumatized by the way his relationship ended but I don’t know what to do, if were being real here, we are already in a relationship and have been doing this for 7months, neither of us is entertaining anyone else, we go on dates, spend weekends together, run errands, talk about absolutely everything going on in our lives. I don’t know if I should just walk away before I get myself hurt, everything else is perfect, we never argue, have so much in common especially with having boys the same age. It is the best sex of my life hands down. He makes me better, I’m sweet and gentle and ppl sometimes walk over me. He stands up for me, encourages me to speak up and not take crap. While equally, I level him, I’m the calm in the room, the repose when his sons getting on his nerves.

Since that last convo two weeks ago, I started pulling back, window shopping with OLD but I’m not really interested in anyone, I can’t be emotionally invested in one person and entertain others. He has no interest in dating anyone else, he has not been on Tinder since we started talking he got a new phone in Jan and I noticed he didn’t redownload it. This last weekend was a little different, he’s gone back to kissing my forehead and pulling me into to cuddle when we sleep. He sends me a text thanking me for the weekend, how he really enjoyed it and that it just “hit different”.WTF dude. like really! I don’t know what to make of this, I’m so confused (37F) (38M)

Advice????