Alright so as the title suggests, I (20F) don’t usually feel horny. I don’t feel physically turned on before sex, but I really like initiating it. I don’t even know why I like initiating it, because sometimes I just sort of get bored halfway through, like I want it to be over. I still enjoy it, and I am turned on while actually doing the deed, but initiating it feels more like a compulsion rather than desire in the traditional sense.
I like the idea of making my partner feel good. I like the idea of my partner wanting me. I like the emotional closeness I feel after, but there’s not a ton of overwhelming physical desire before I initiate? It’s more a rational “this will be fun and my partner will enjoy it too” sort of thing.
The thing that’s confusing about it is that I wouldn’t consider it a high sex drive in the traditional sense, but it got in the way of my last relationship since my ex didn’t want to have sex as often (like once every two weeks), so even though it’s not really a traditional sort of desire the compulsion has still impacted my relationships and caused me to feel unwanted in them.
Sorry if this is all jumbled, but I wanted to know if other people feel this way or think about sex like this.
2 comments
Maybe psychologically you want to have it, but the neurochemicals aren’t happening which means you don’t really “need” it.
I have no answer as to why this happens, but I’m very similar. I also have no idea how to describe my sex drive, since it seems to be high but with no libido. Still, with the right partner it’s not really an issue.