I work in tech and I am very passionate about it. But I’ve heard so many times that guys don’t like women in STEM because we are seen as “masculine”, “aggressive”, and “competitive”.
I’m very feminine and I would never compete with a guy with my job. I would let the guy take the lead in a relationship. I don’t mention what I do unless it’s asked.
Many times I find myself feeling the need to chose between my job and romance. But I know these are just stupid thoughts as I know many women in my field who are married.
But is it really that true that guys find women in certain careers unattractive? What should I do as a women in STEM when dating?
Tl;dr
I’m a 24 year old female wondering if being in tech will turn women off
12 comments
Nothing is absolute, I’ve never heard this in my life. Not to say it doesn’t exist, as you’re obviously hearing it somewhere, which brings me back to me first point
Nothing is absolute
If someone cares that much and is turned off, then shrug keep it moving…plenty guys won’t give a shit
Stupid guys, maybe.
You’ll be fine.
There’s certainly an ongoing cultural shift in several STEM-related fields and industries for introducing women in a traditionally male-dominated work environment. Some people embrace the change, others have been resistant, and there’s massive variety in these approaches within and between industries.
So yes, **some** people are going to have prejudices and stereotypes about women in STEM. But men are not a monolith – they have varied values, beliefs, and backgrounds.
Just be yourself and do what’s aligned with your values and goals. You’ll inevitably meet men in your life, and among them, there will be many who won’t automatically make assumptions about you because of your career.
I think a woman having a job is a plus. I assume most other guys do as well
Do you get turned off by men who are in nursing?
I’ve got lots of lady friends in tech. One just got married. Another gets like 5 dates a week, not exaggerating.
I’ve been told men within the tech industry can sometimes be weird about women in tech, and I can’t say I’ve had good experiences dating tech dudes myself.
I guess my suggestion is be more confident and go for guys who aren’t in your field.
My friends and I all, all young men in STEM fields, were all just discussing how we thought it was kind of hot when women are engineers. But then someone said something along the lines of what you said too, “they’re all ugly or manly” to paraphrase. I disagreed. So I think it’s just down to personal opinion. Maybe someone not in a STEM field might feel more “threatened” by a woman who is but I certainly don’t see the issue
Men don’t care about your career.
Why would you *want* to date someone who has a problem with your career?
Why would you want to date guys who are threatened by your job?
Why do you give a single shit about the opinions of insecure moron men, and why do you have such low self esteem that you would be willing to be with someone who views women like that?
This shouldn’t really matter if you guys can talk about eachother day and empathize well. And if you can coordinate schedules well enoguh for both of you to spend enough time in the relationship to meet your relationship needs. Even on a busy day it’s pretty easy to do a phone call check in after 8pm doing almost any job.
You will certainly find someone who has no problem listening to your tech job stories and being there for you if not even excited for you! Anyone who doesn’t like it or is insecure about it would likely come with a lot of other self-esteem problems you really don’t need in your life.