Is It Time To Let Go of These Friendships? (23M)(23M)(23M)

Background:

I recently moved back home after completing university. Currently, my (23M) closest friends are A (23M) and B (23M). I have been friends with A for around a decade (since middle school) and B for around 5 years. We all went to the same high school for our final two years. I was initially friends with A and B separately but introduced them, and we became somewhat of a trio.

When university came, I ended up moving approx. 2 hours away while the two stayed in my hometown, although they went to different universities. Gradually, A became close with a group of guys that we went to high school with, and by proxy, B became involved in that group. Additionally, A and B became distant from me as the university went on. Whenever I would visit back in town, or come back for the summer, I would always be the one making plans. Now that I think about it, since high school, I was the one always/mostly initiating plans. This trend really hasn’t changed. Whenever we hang out, it seems to be a good time, but after that… radio silence. Similarly, whenever I text them, 75% of the time, I get a reply after a couple of days or get no reply at all.

Apart from the texting, I know B is pretty introverted, and other than me, A, and another friend, he stays to himself and also has struggled with depression. Given this, I can somewhat understand B’s behaviour as during depressive period, I can become self-isolating as well.

Furthermore, whenever I shared this with my sibling or my ex-gf (now close friend), they always (independently) have the same opinion: that I have outgrown my friends and am doing myself a disservice by still chasing after them.

Present:

So today is my birthday, and my so-called “closest friends” haven’t even replied to my messages from a day or two ago, let alone wish me a happy birthday. I don’t mean to sound childish, but having a bad history of birthdays and not many friends in general, this really hurt. Now that I have moved back to my hometown for the foreseeable future, I am conflicted about what to do going forward:

1. Realize that this is just the dynamic between us: I always have to initiate. Additionally, I am the one that needs friends since I don’t have any/many other close friends in my hometown, so I should suck it up and just continue.

2. Just cut them off without saying anything. I read a quote once that said something along the lines of “Stop calling first and you’ll realize how many dead plants you have been watering”. From a self-respect point of view, this seems like the right option, but where does that lead me? Friendless? Lonely?

3. Talk to them together or individually about my concerns and depending on how the conversation goes, either: cut them off, fix things, or give them the ultimatum that I won’t be the one initiating anymore and the ball is in their court.

I know I have to make new friends. That is a given, but to be honest, I don’t know how to. I have depression and social anxiety and making friends in general has always been hard for me, especially other male friends. Along with advice on what to do with this friendship, some advice on making new friends would also be welcome. I have a few acquaintances that I can reach out to hang out with, but I don’t really know how to transition from acquaintances/superficial friendships to regular meaningful friendships. I am looking for a solid group of friends that I can have a fun time with but also connect with on a deeper level. This situation has honestly been bothering me for a while now and would really appreciate some insight.