How do you guys handle social anxiety?

30 comments

1. I or at least a lot of men have to channel it into something productive, there’s no really any room or net of support for us about that sort of thing. For the most part I have found that a lot of the stuff you are anxious about is all in your head, at least if you got a good handle on who you are as a person. There’s just some people out there who want to make you feel bad for something you shouldn’t have.

2. I have two voices in my head and one just repeats “f*** it just go on !!!” and the other is freaking out about everything. I take my decisions according to the loudest voice.

3. I really flip flop on this, most times I’m highly social and all good but every once in a while I just can’t hang. I guess i might have a drink or bum a cigarette from someone but that’s not healthy. If I can I just leave because I’m not feeling it. Otherwise I find the person who talks too much and just let them do their thing while I run down the clock.

4. I don’t. I stay home.

5. When I dive right in it’s cool and I don’t care and everything is fine If I get a moment to doubt though I’m sitting in my car for 15 minutes trying to center myself

6. A good shot works for me.

7. Acting, pretend who know what you’re doing. And also do your best to forget about yourself

8. I’ve felt the regret of doing nothing and I know that it’s worse than the fear I feel in the moment. Actually challenging it is very fulfilling to me.

9. The biggest issue is starting. I treat it like going into the pacific…if i dawdle around its going to be super uncomfortable and cold for a very long time…if i just run and jump in, it will be a flash shock and my body adjusts quickly.

   So just cannonball your ass into the convo!

10. Not a man, but someone who has dealt with social anxiety.

    Exposure therapy is huge. Once you face your fears and see that you can handle them (or at least survive), it gets easier to face them. It’s like practicing a skill.

    Also, just realizing that no one cares about you as much as you think is very helpful. Chances are they’re going to feel neutral about you, or if you show them your personality, they’ll probably like you (well, not everyone will like you, but you’ll attract people who do instead of no one).

    You think you’re protecting yourself by staying sheltered. But really, the best way to break the cycle is to make yourself more open and approachable. People like that

11. Anxiety evolved to help us navigate uncertainty. You need to listen to it, not mute or numb it.

    Let us first define what anxiety is, so we can agree on the same feeling. Anxiety is a feeling of apprehension. Physiologically, your heart rate may increase, your breathing might become shallow, and you’ll experience symptoms similar to a panic attack.

    But anxiety is a two part emotion. On one hand it’s worry, but on the other hand, it’s hope. When you’re anxious, you don’t just feel hopeless—if you did, that wouldn’t be anxiety – it would be despair. Anxiety has hope built-in because you *could* fail, but you could also succeed.

    It’s just a matter of harnessing the hope of success to guide your decisions, instead of letting the fear of failure dictate them.

12. Hood up, head phones and a secluded spot to lean against was my way of handing it until I managed to sorta get better due to some good friends.

13. Introvert for life.

14. Comparison. I have done so so soooooo much worse than any awkward situation in life around people can throw at me could make me feel a fraction as bad as what I’ve done. My only problem is trying to keep a conversation going

15. Too much of anything is not good! You need to find balance in your life between your social life and your own personal life!

16. Honestly brother, just diving right into whatever situation is giving me the anxiety. I know ultimately it’s in my head and if I rip the band-aid off, everything is okay 99 percent of the time. I’m an absolute wreck when it comes to social anxiety, but my livelihood depends on social interaction. What gets me through it is knowing that the worst case scenario really isn’t all that bad, and embracing the suck just makes it so much easier.

17. Poorly. Very poorly.

18. I listen a lot, then after I get a feel for the room do I open my mouth. This way I’m less likely to say something that has nothing to do with the conversation (which is my fear). I say something I regret, I’ll overthink it for days!

19. I don’t. It controls me.

20. I can always make you more uncomfortable than you can make me

21. Practice, although I will admit it never goes away fully.

    Honestly, just getting out there and having as many interactions & conversations as you can eases the burden.

    Also, this is kinda dumb, but it works for me– write out and memorize funny or crazy (true) stories and recite them at functions. For example I have a 2-3 minute funny story about how I got my first tattoo. I’ll tell it at social functions and people always seem to laugh.

22. Still trying at 29 soon to be 30.

23. Alcohol

24. It’s complicated. Sometimes I think it can be good to just accept and forgive that there are certain contexts that I’m just not wired to thrive in, and not shame myself for them, just try to do my best and accept the results.

    That said, I think there are a lot of little things that have been helpful.

    Keeping an eye on my carb intake and eating healthy seems to help in a subtle, but powerful way.

    Having at different times either a job or friend circle where I really feel like a valuable member of the team.

    Age and experience in general.

    About the first thing I did after high school was throw myself into the fire just to prove to myself that I could. I got on a plane and spent a couple months wandering around Europe with very little money and no preplanning. It put me in situations where I frankly had no choice but to challenge myself and take assertive action. People are highly adaptable, and when you’re in a situation like that where you’re alone and have no one to count on, you can surprise yourself with what you become capable of. I’m not gonna lie, for someone like me it was pretty scary at first, but I’m really glad I did it, and it wound up becoming the freest and most relaxed period of my life once I got over the initial hump.

25. I don’t, I try to survive it and take medication

26. Headphones, and a black vest covered in metal spikes.

27. Usually I just avoid socializing as much as possible. But alcohol also helps.

28. Its basically a life long illness at this point I think. The funny thing is I have been a professor in the past and a lab demonstrator many times speaking in front of 1000’s of people over the years and I loved it and so did my students! But get me in a room with family or others I don’t know in a more relaxed informal setting and I’m the quietest boring individual. I don’t really do small talk well and I think I was fine with teaching because there was a set topic to discuss.

29. Will be coming back here soon. I could really use the advice people here are giving now I’ve been diagnosed

30. If you drink, have a couple to loosen up a bit, but be aware of the dangers that can come with that very slippery slope.
    If you don’t, try going out with a friend that you can interact with and be dumb in public. People really don’t care what you’re doing if you’re just being silly, so get that out of your head. If they do, don’t sweat it, they’re just judgmental assholes who don’t matter anyways…it’s like the thing where high school really didn’t matter…yeah, the rest of your life is that too. Enjoy it and have fun!