I f(22) tried having sex for the first time few months ago and it felt too tight even for an inch of penetration. I thought i had vaginismus and visited a female gynaecologist, she examined me and inserted fingers inside me, it was extremely painful and i cried then she tried with a numbing gel and still it was extremely painful. She told me that i do have mild vaginismus and i asked for treatment she said its just fear and anxiety and first time is something i should just buckle up and do it and eventually it will get better. She gave me a numbing gel to use before penetration. I had sex and i applied numbing gel before 5 minutes of penetration it was still extremely painful i thought it would be better second time but nope same amount of pain and same third time too. The pain was so much my mind felt numb entire time. Is it true that vaginismus will go away on it’s own? Is sex really this painful first few times?
9 comments
I’m jus shocked a female gynecologist just said buckle up and didn’t prescribe dilators. There are dilators one can buy, and they slowly stretch until you are able to receive a penis without pain. Ask her about dilators.
Everyone is different body, some people are doing just fine. For me My fourth time last week and it’s still painful as first time for me, I need to have painkillers after.
Occasionally, on r/sex, there are people who say that they had enormous pain from sex, and then had a new partner and suddenly no pain, but that’s unusual.
Without treatment, for the most part, vaginismus does not resolve itself without treatment. That treatment is dialators; you train your body to accept larger and larger dialators, until you are comfortable with something the size of a penis.
One caveat: despite mainstream porn focus on penis size, some women report pain from sex with someone with a large penis. This is especially true for women who have very sensitive cervixes. So even being able to accept a penis without penetration pain, you may experience cervix pain, depending on the position of your cervix, how sensitive it is, the size of your partner, and the position you are in.
People without vaginismus often report that the first few times they have sex, they have some pain too, but they also usually report pleasure. After a few times their body has learned, and pain becomes unusual. This doesn’t sound much like you, and if the pain is so extreme that you have fear, then it’s unlikely to get better because it’s a self-reinforcing cycle.
Dialator kits and lube are available on Amazon. Perhaps some people have opinions about these…
You need treatment for it to go away. A pelvic floor physiotherapist is what you need. As you’ve found out, doctors categorically do not care about sexual pleasure (nor do they know a lot about it).
Sounds horrible. So sorry that you are suffering from something that should be so great. Makes me thankful that I have not run into this, but really hoping you get a solution
LOL “buckle up”??? Leave a bad review and find a new doctor lol
I would also consider EMDR! It could help with the mental component maybe?
My SO has vaginismus, get a new doctor as you have been give terrible advice. There are treatments for it, and you should never feel like you have to “buckle up” and get through super painful sex. My two cents as a man with an SO going through this.
Fuck no. Please go see a pelvic floor physical therapist, it changed my life. I’m shocked at how your doctor talked to you.