When you are being bullied or a bad comment, how do you have the strength to defend yourself?

11 comments

1. I assume there is something very wrong with the other person and decide to limit my interactions as much as possible in the future.

   I don’t argue with someone who derides me or calls me names.

2. I’m used to communicating with people irl. What’s the situation?

3. Personally, i have experience with being bullied online and irl so it annoys me when i see others going through it. My friend is just like i use to be, i was afraid of saying my opinion and why i didn’t appreciate them hurting me. Though i was more afraid about hurting them because people that hurt others are more likely already hurt really bad. Moral of the story, i try and figure out how they’re hurt and if they’re not hurt at all and are just hurting me for no reason, then I’ll be rude back. U have no right to say stuff to me and not expect something back, tf?

4. You boomerang it back to them. “I’m sorry you’re having such a bad day!”

   “I’m sorry you’re stuck with such a bad personality!”

   “I’m sorry you never learned manners!”

   “I”m sorry someone pooped in your breakfast cereal.”

   “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

   Essentially, if they’re being awful, you feel sorry for them.

5. I don’t defend myself. Its a trap, and I have better things to do.

   Besides, you can’t fix stupid.

6. Just turn and walk away. You are not responsible for anyone’s emotions, just yours. You don’t answer to him, you answer to you and your value system. So, by walking away you’ve set a boundary. No point in getting into any kind of discussion with him.

7. Men only roast men they feel comfortable with or like. It’s a way to bond and understand they are not a threat to them. Sane Men never insult someone they do not have an understanding with because it is universally where that would lead. You can learn jokes yourself, practice them and use them. Remember practice and preparation makes perfect. Once you start roasting them yourself they will back off or the friendships will end. Either way you will be in a better spot

8. When this happens again calmly make intense eye contact and start singing spice girls wannabe like you’re a toddler

   Works.every.time

9. Honestly, it sounds like your anxiety about getting beaten up is worse than actually getting beaten up. Depending on how aggressive they actually seem, might actually be better just to fight them and rip the bandaid off. Most regular bullies only pick on people who they know won’t do anything back. If you put up a fight, usually they leave you alone after that for the most part.

   I say usually. Obviously this course comes with the huge grain of salt that you should feel these people out and make sure they aren’t like actual sociopaths that will put you in the hospital.

   But *most* of the time, this isn’t the case. Bullies are usually pretty weak and just use bullying behavior as a way to feel superior. In this case, by fighting back, you make yourself a less appealing target than someone else who won’t.

10. When someone is attempting to bully, I usually adopt the persona of an adult/parent dealing with a belligerent child.

    If a bratty 2 year old child says something mean, a parent or teacher shouldn’t take it personally – a good parent/teacher wouldn’t get angry, sad or vindictive. They would train the child to do better. They might say “hey, that behavior isn’t acceptable here” or even something like “you need a timeout until you can behave better”. It’s an easy tone to adopt and you’ll find it quickly shifts the balance – their attempt to bully was meant to make you feel weak, but you’ve turned the table and now they feel infantilized by their own behavior.

11. I’ve had that anxiety as well in these situations. Honestly never got over it, like a coworker says I “Chew it up and spit it out later” and either I remain calm and egg them on by just saying things along the lines of “well, that’s not nice” or call them out in their bs. I still get shaky with my heart pounding hard, I just learned to ignore it in the heat of the moment. I guess it helps that I’m overanalyze everything.

    If someone is throwing random insults to see what sticks, they’re clearly fishing for a reaction, so when my reaction is “well, that’s not nice” most of the time they don’t know what to do and just keep on throwing random insults at me. Becomes funny after a while.

    If someone tries to get very specific then its situational, but usually you can catch them making shit up to accommodate their worldview and I can jump on that, question it to death and either they get hysterical and stop making sense or they give up.

    Those are best case scenarios for me. But there really are people out there that say and do whatever it takes to get their way, even if they make no sense. Not much you can do with those but move on. At the end, if they don’t change their ways they’ll burn all their bridges and have doors closed on their face throughout their life. I sleep better thinking about that.