A few days ago, my roommate of nearly a year stole my atm card and withdrew all the money in my account while I sorted out a draught situation we were having. At the time my bank notified me of the withdrawals, she (J) and my other roommate (A) were the only ones present in the hostel.
I made a report to the Security Centre in my uni, and for the three days they investigated, I wasn’t able to eat properly or tend to any of my basic needs. At the end of the investigation, they confronted her with the fact they knew she was the culprit which she denied. She only owned up when the man heading the investigation let her know he would be forwarding the case to the Student Disciplinary Committee with a recommendation for suspension. Now, I’m being told to forgive her since she has agreed to return the money and has won over the investigating officer with crocodile tears.
I’m beyond upset. I’m livid. It’s not as if she felt remorseful and came to meet me to work out how to return the money. If I hadn’t reported the theft in the first place, she would never have done anything even though I was basically starving. I hate seeing how easily she’s moved on now because she never faced any real punishment. I wish I could do something to hurt her so badly she has trauma over it.
I hate this.
TL;DR: My roommate does not seem remorseful after stealing my money and leaving me broke, and I feel upset that she’s ‘getting away’ with it.
34 comments
You phone the police and report her. The bank will have CCTV. she is going straight to prison, do not pass go, do not collect £200.
You can and should report this to your uni, ask for a written report into the investigation and pass this to your university authorities.
You should absolutely not forgive this, in any way, this person needs to be completely removed from your life and the most effective way to do this is get them out of your uni.
This is a safety issue, who knows what they’ll do next if they get away with this one.
Kick her out
I would immediately cut ties with someone who can’t respect me and my stuff. Let alone steal and try to hide it. F THAT B, find someone to give her herpes, that’s for life 😂😂😂😁😁😆😆😆😂😂
You require more than empty promises and investigations which do nothing. Escalate. Both to the police and to the Student Disciplinary Board since nothing has been done. An investigation which went nowhere does nothing for you.
have a serious talk with you family and discuss what to do next. obviously move out asap and you will need help from your family for that. i would get the report from the university. make a note of when, where and whom when they refuse. again, talk to your parents. i would start with suing the school. then i will sue your roommate.
Why haven’t you made a police report?
Claim a hardship to the school and ask them pay you the stolen money and have her pay them back in installments (she’s not going to pay you back everything she took) and that one of you move to another room/area because you don’t trust her.
If they refuse, go to the head of the school and ask them “are you going to the police or am I?” Their rules are highly illegal, they have no right to keep you from going to the tribal police to get justice. You both are adults, not schoolchildren. They may want to keep all this in house but if they are allowed it should be on your terms, not theirs. Otherwise, all efforts to keep this under wraps will fail. They should have no business trying to have her pay back in installments and have you live with a thief. Either you get all the money back now and she is away from you or it goes public and to the police.
You do not have to forgive her at all. Press charges with police, too.
It seems like you should take this up with real cops and your bank instead of the university. I believe the bank can also report her for theft. Tell the uni investigator that she may have fooled them with her crocodile tears but that she has shown zero remorse to you and you no longer feel safe around her. They can follow procedure or you’ll go to the cops, the bank, and let the whole mess go viral on social media.
Soap and sock wait till she gets home and just beat the shit out of her. No bruises and she can’t get you in trouble. Win win.
Go to the flippin police.
Get Police and bank involved. Bury her ass.
You dont want help. Everybody is saying you should go to the police and you are actively disregarding that. The school has no power or jurisdiction on preventing you from reporting a crime regardless or what you think or signed or whatever. You are willingfully burying your head in the sand. Go to the police plan and simple.
Report her evil ass to the real cops
Report it to the police wtf??
You don’t! Jesus, girl, you fucking call the police on her and you kick her out. She stole money from you, not a pack of spaghetti!
How did your roommate withdraw all the money in your account? She’d have to know your pin for one and unless you didn’t have much money in your account, ATMs limit you to a certain amount of money a day.
*How do I (21F) get over my roommate (22F) being nonchalant after stealing from me?*
You don’t, you call the police and file a report, and tell the school NO you will not just forgive her.
I completely understand the issues. All involved. I say you need to get an outside attorney and explain to them what’s going on. This sounds like a hot mess and like they’re covering up for a lot of s***. You never know… there might be an attorney that sees a lot wrong, as I do just reading this, and is willing to take your case on sue the school. This is absolute horseshit… not to mention what a s*** lesson they’ve taught that girl.. excuse me lying, conniving thief.
Don’t let her friend off the hook either.
Stoning used to stop nonchalantment.
This person sounds dangerous and I worry for your safety
You said she’s paying you back in installments.
Grab her shit and go pawn it.
If anyone makes a fuss you just say “Well, she still owes me $x after what I pawned. I’m just trying to help her make things right.”
You report this to the local LE now.
Change your PIN.
how did she get your PIN? Are your parents paying your tuition? Get them on the phone.
Call the actual police. University authorities are known for sweeping criminal issues under the rug.
You don’t get over it. Get locks for everything. Start looking to move, or move her. I wouldn’t speak another word to her again. If people give you crap about ” forgiving” or “being the bigger person”, put her on blast on social media.
There is no forgiving what she did, especially since she isn’t sorry
Report the thefts to the bank who issued you the ATM card and to the police. Theft is theft.
Did you report the thefts to the bank, have the card cancelled and a replacement card and new PIN issued? If at all possible, would you be able to change apartment? That roommate sounds dodgy AF.
Ok so first never ever give out your atm passcode and second make sure to secure your card at all times. Have your mom threaten the school with going public about what an unsafe environment it is with thieves allowed to steal and face no punishment really put the pressure on them to actually do something. Spread the word yourself about what a disgusting little thief she is. Tell everyone how she stole from you and used her little crocodile tears to get out of it. Get a transfer to another room hell go to an actual decent school if you can
Report this to the police
It doesn’t matter if the man investigating doesn’t want it to go further. You have all the evidence to push it further if you want. She stole and she’s an adult so that’s a serious crime. Go to the police, the bank would have footage of her withdrawing the money, and if she’s been investigated there’s be record of her denying the fact too.
She can very well have charges put against her. You can get justice and she’ll have a very hard time in the future getting a job if there’s record of money theft on her name.
Fuck her over, I know I would. She needs to learn a lesson. She had no remorse so she doesn’t deserve pity.
It’s ridiculous how many people here are raging at you for not reporting this to the police. I thought it was immediately clear that this does not take place in the U.S., and likely not in any stable western country. Police in many parts of the world are partial, easily swayed, take bribes, operate like a gang, etc. and the whole legal situation could be completely valid based on the jurisdiction.
I hope your situation gets better, OP.
Lawyer. Press charges for grand larceny and card fraud.