he/him, female to male for context. almost 2 years on T and 1 year post op top surgery if it matters
About 2 years ago or so, I discovered an awesome vibrator called the Satisfyer Pro. It made me cum in less than 5 mins, nearly every time, just absolutely explosive and lovely orgasms.. but since then, I have not been able to cum with my hands 🙁 I have become so dependent on it, that my clit won’t really respond to my hands and cum, I can pleasure myself with my hands, but not cum. especially since starting Testosterone, my clitoris has grown from 1/4” to 1.75” in length, so things feel different from before. I can’t really “rub” it like before I started T too, so that makes it even harder to cum, since my clit takes a much more phallic shape.
I haven’t cum in 7 days, so, hopefully that helps. But i still don’t feel sensitive enough to cum with my hands. I’d love to be able to cum with my hands, so I get to mix it up a bit + that means I’ll be able to cum with a partner and not have to rely on toys.
Anyone else have this problem? How did you deal with it?
Thanks <3
3 comments
It can take a few months to break that sort of habit and physical/mental conditioning. Plus you get all the sexual frustration with it. It won’t happen in a week.
Rather than go cold turkey, when doing self pleasure or with a partner, alternate between manual and vibratory stimulation ~15 to 30 seconds or so.
Use lube when rubbing yourself. Lots and lots of lube. This adds a lot to the sensation.
Foreplay, even with solo stimulation, you want to get yourself in the mood. Deep breaths, dirty fantasies. I’m a cis heteronormative male, and I found moaning, dirty talk and the like useful even for self stimulation (and was good for practice for when I was with partners). Relaxing bath, and explore your own erogenous zones. Get the motor revving.
You aren’t fixing something that is broken, you are retraining an old talent that you used to have and using some neural pathways that haven’t been walked much.
Anatomy bigger since starting T? Use a couple of fingers, on either side while nicely lubed up. Two fingers and a thumb for a slight pulling and pressing sensation to recreate suction and pressure.
As time goes on, dial back on the vibrator, and try to only use it intermittently for getting excited/close but try to finish yourself manually.
My $0.02
Yea I’m a male and I use to have a problem because I mastubated all the time. With my new gf I couldn’t cum at all with her unless I used my hands. I stopped masturbation all together for maybe one month and I was finally able to. I’d say stop completely for a while and you should be fine.
May take months to relearn but it is doable