How often do you think about strangers/mild acquaintances you find averagely attractive?

11 comments

1. I don’t sexualize strangers at all. Fantasize about strangers months after seeing them is serial killer shit lol

2. *”For comparison, when I see a hot guy in passing, I just think “oh he’s hot” and probably never think about him again. Does someone have to be really hot to sexualize and actively think about them even months later?”*

   No.

3. Whenever I see a beautiful woman, I will sometimes point her out to my friends and facetiously say, “Hey I’m in love again.”; and once she has left my field of view, immediately say, “And the feelings gone.” So yeah, like you, it’s an instantaneous reaction that doesn’t really carry. I hope it means that we’re normal.

4. It’s the same thing that happens for you.

5. For about 3.8 seconds after seeing them then never again. It’s like I see, I look, I internally say “okay okay I see you…Jesus Christ” and 3.8 seconds later “fuck i wonder if they have a snack bar here…..where the fuck would they put one if they did…hmmm… nachos would be the fuckin tits right now…. Oh shit look they got legos…. Remember who use to have a snack bar AND legos…. K-Mart… Kmart was the shit….fuck I lost the wife, where’d she go, shit shit shit shit shit”

6. Someone I pass in the street “she’s hot”, someone I’ve met once or twice would be the same, maybe the odd thought on a rare occasion but doubt it. I’d only think about someone maybe a month later if I’d slept with them but ‘months’ is a stretch for me I reckon

7. I mean, if I see someone hot, I’ll get a boner and think about it

   Which I think is pretty usual for most people

   But I’m onto the next thing within about 5 minutes

   Probably within 1 minute if I’m being honest

   Fantasize would be too obsessive

8. I have remembered certain strangers in some cases but they usually fade from memory quickly

9. > Does someone have to be really hot to sexualize and actively think about them even months later?

   Really hot to sexualize? No. I sexualize pretty much any woman who looks decent in leggings or yoga pants. But I would very rarely think about her after seeing her.

10. Unless I have to actually talk to someone, I usually don’t see someone (man or woman) as more than “person”.

11. I realized early in sobriety that most of my issues in life came from avoidant behaviors. So forcing myself to make brief acknowledgment / eye contact with everyone has helped me feel more comfortable with my social anxieties and aware of what’s going on around me.

    I’m married so have no interest, but have started actually noticing and do remember for awhile the times I encounter strong eye contact & opening body language. I’ll just smile & look away, though the ego boost is nice for a dude with grey hair.