Hello! I am 22m and my girlfriend is 20f. We just started dating about 2 months ago. I had liked her a lot last year but nothing ever came of it. We stopped talking and started again this year and we became friends. To give perspective on how inexperienced she is, when I first kissed her she let me and then pushed me away and said to stop so I did. I thought I read her wrong but she told me immediately she panicked because that was her first kiss but she was happy I did it. I was extremely shocked because of how pretty she is and she’s such a great person. After that I knew I should move extra slow because I genuinely have liked her for so long and don’t want to make her uncomfortable at all. After we officially started dating she was in my room and we were kissing and she seemed upset, she just said “i don’t wanna do anything right now” and I Said of course I don’t expect that. She seemed super happy and relieved. We just continued to cuddle and kiss. Another time I got on top of her just to kiss her and she was visibly shaking and said she was scared I immediately stopped and said I wasn’t planning on doing anything and stopped. Everything was fine! Slowly and surely everytime she came over since we’d go like one small step farther and either I’d ask if something was ok or I’d let her take it a step farther. So far the farthest she has taken it was me putting my hand down her pants to basically finger her and she took off her bra and top. Basically this is where we are at and everything else is going great with her. I don’t expect sex from anyone right away but eventually I’d love to with her. It’s been 2 years since I’ve been in a relationship with someone I feel a real connection with. Basically I’m just looking for advice to help make sure the slow transition into sex when she wants it goes as smoothly and as comfortable for her as possible. What makes girls feel as relaxed and safe with someone? I’ve never been someone’s first everything. Past relationships sex came pretty quick and we all had prior experience. So I’m treading lightly as she is so precious to me. Thank you.
1 comment
Clear communication (like paragraphs in long posts) is great at all experience levels. Straight up ask he what things she wants how she feels about sexual acts. Make it clear you’re not asking as an expectation but more because you want to make sure things move at her comfort and pace.