So me(34M) have already went in one date with a woman(F34) who while both each other matched on an OLD app a week ago but have followed each for months on Instagram and she’s closer and in person more interesting than the other person(35F) whom I’m been talking to for a month but first date is this coming Saturday.
Conundrum really is the one I’ve already have been on a date with(34F) has had very positive post date texting, and has been going out of her way to figure out times to meet up already on her own other than the ones I’ve been suggesting because of work commitments. Other person(35F) I’ve done all the planning and they haven’t done any other other effort predate.
Another factors are distance (34F) lives more than half the distance of (35F) and is in my town all the time for work purposes or friends. 35F has no connections to go out this way.
That said one’s been a first date the other has just been talking . Still early on. Wait it out a few dates. It’s both a numbers game and an values game. Not to say most dates wins out but from a previous experience before my last relationship the one you actually date tends to end up longer term. Distance is a factor and effort on both parties
2 comments
You just went on a single date while you haven’t even met the other one. Means that you just scratched the surface of one woman and are a complete stranger to another one. … That’s simply what it is when all communication is based on anything outside real life interaction.
So why ask about exclusivity now? Shouldn’t you just focus on how you feel about the one you already met and see where it leads? If you think the both of you really clicked and you are willing the risk, then cancel the date for the other one.
Remember, Those that don’t put in effort pre date will never rack up that effort Post date, even when you two click…
your descriptions are a bit confusing but this is what I can suggest to you, regardless of individual situations with these 2 or future women that you date.
Go out a few times with each person, and see which one you like better. Choose that one to continue with and keep going out more, now you’re all focused one person . Once you think you’re ready to be exclusive, then have the talk . if you realize that you’re still not interested in anything further, then let her know and go back to dating other people, but not necessarily the one that you left . find new people.
You can use this kind of guideline for any time you’re dating several people or even just one person.
I would definitely not recommend trying to have the exclusive talk after just one or two dates.