I think my girlfriend is going to break up with me tomorrow. She said that she doesnt know if she still wants to be in a relationship with me and she wants to come over tomorrow morning to talk. We already talked about staying as friends if our relationship doesnt work. She said that she wants us to stay friends because she doesnt want to lose me. Im not sure. I love her. I dont want to lose her too, but I dont know if Im able to get over her while she is still in my life. I dont know what to do. We have been together since we were 14 and are going to the same University. I know that we are still young but please dont treat this problem differently just because of that. Please share your experiences.
11 comments
What is the reason for the breakup?
In my experience, trying to be friends while actively trying to move on from each other is difficult and tricky.
**No**. Close the thread.
It was always easier for me in a break up to cut all ties, at least for a year or so and then maybe when you’re feeling solid, if you still feel like it, you can reach out and attempt to be friends. That’s just my suggestion, but not everyone works the same way I do, so it’s really up to you and what you want
Simply put, no and not ever.
It really depends. Could you stay friends without getting hurt while you know she fucks somebody else, could she?
Why do you want to stay friends, and what does it mean, would you still do stuff together?
Also why does she want to break up, I guess you have a lot to talk about with her.
With a long relationship through some of your most formative years, no surprise that you’d grow apart in that time. School age relationships don’t often stand the test of time. As for friendship, don’t try and force it. Breaking up, it’s common for people place so much goddamn emphasis on being friends when sometimes the best thing is to actually take some time and space from a former partner. Trying to be right there in each others’ lives hinders the process of moving on. Maybe you can be comfortable as friends later on, maybe not, but trying to leap for that immediately has many pitfalls.
Hey OP, I don’t know how to express how sorry I am your relationship isn’t where you want it to be, heck maybe you even saw it coming, so you’re asking yourself “what the hell do I do now?”
Short answer, this one is going to hurt. I can’t speak from experience since I didn’t date at that age but if I place myself adult self in your shoes it’s not a situation that can be made less, its heartbreak.
The part they aren’t telling you is that people feel this way inside or outside a relationship. Having someone 100% present and committed is hard for anyone with the emotional capacity, I can’t image a young adult. I think looking at it from her perspective might help adjust to the idea it’s not personal at this age. There are too many competing factors for young people during this time in their life. It’s very very normal and expected to grow out of people and relationships.
My best advice is to communicate the importance of the relationship and to stress that the college experience is temporary. It’s very possible they might come back once the college thing is over. My advice is to let it happen because it’s either everyone does their own thing or one person deals with what the other person is doing.
Trust me OP this one will hurt but the pain of being in a relationship where one person does whatever they want is more hurtful. Also if she hasn’t broken up with you and wants to talk why not have the talk so that you guys don’t break up – the timing might be on your side.
Nope.
Honestly no, the chance of it working out is like 0.001%. In my experience the **only** time it works is when both sides **dont** love each other anymore and even then its sometimes
No of course not.
No.
Your new gf will not appreciate it, as you would probably not appreciate your new gf hanging out and being friends with her ex bf.