Basically, I caught my bf using a few different dating sites. I confronted him about it and he told me he done it because he was bored. Apparently he used a fake picture and name, he used them 5 days a week sometimes more. I can’t get over it, he knew I had been cheated on in the past and yet he still done this to me. Could he really have been using this as a cure for boredom?
41 comments
No… why would you …
That’s fuckin’ weird.
No, that’s not okay.
Bruh
If he wants to have random non-sexual conversations with strangers there’s a million less-concerning ways to go about that.
Like what we’re doing right now – I go on Reddit when I’m bored.
I’d consider this *deeply* suspicious behavior. And if he really is making fake profiles to troll random women, that’s also not great.
He’s not bored he’s looking for other girls. Sorry but you’re trying to convince yourself he’s innocent when he’s not.
Talk to your partner first and state your intentions then see if that is a boundary she’d not like you to press against.
Porn is similar, but the potential of a nearby person vs internet person changes this up.
There is only one thing that people use dating sites and dating apps for; to look and talk to new people. Those excuses people say because they are bored, trying to look for friends, it’s all bullshit.
No. You know what you gotta do
That’s not it chief, sorry
Find a hobby?
Idk, why do women do that?
Lame excuse
That too much effort for boredom
Smh .
No way. That is sketchy.
CAN, yes. SHOULD, no. LIKELY FOR THAT REASON, also no.
If he’s using a fake photo he had no end game in terms of the IRL hookup. So could it be fore boredom? I guess, sure. It’s a bit silly IMHO, but he could be using it kind of like people used to use phone sex back in the day.
The issues are at best it’s super dishonest to waste people’s time on apps who are looking for actual relationships. At worst, he’s testing the waters to see what else is out there.
You didn’t mention ages or situation so it’s hard to get a sense of the motivations. Is he looking for the chase? The wank material. Or just friends.
Ummm… *excuse me…* what…
That would be an instant break up for me, no ifs ands or buts. That is definitely not okay at all. Especially if you have established you both are monogamous.
No he is exploring options and trying to talk to other women, if you want to cause the least amount of pain possible end it now and find someone else, normal people don’t do that shit, if you really want it to work out tell him to show you the logs and see what he has been up to, if it is what he says then try to work with him on it maybe have him get therapy or something
The only saving grace here is that he is using a fake name and fake pictures. This would support him saying that he has no intention of actually meeting anyone.
But he also might be enjoying the attentions of women he matches with. And that could be a form of emotional infidelity.
Bottom line, whatever you and he decide is OK in your relationship is OK. And you shouldn’t be coerced into believing something is OK if you don’t like it. And if he persists, then he is actively disregarding and disrespecting your boundaries.
I go on r/Tinder to get my vicarious fix, and one of my best friends just got dumped so I use his Tinder sometimes for fun. I’m getting him dates though, not really talking to people by myself.
I can understand using dating apps for fun, and my wife and I recently discussed setting up profiles to that end. However, even though I could use a dating app for fun, I can’t imagine my wife would believe me if I was doing it without telling her. And if she wouldn’t believe me anyway, why wouldn’t I just cheat?
So, it is possible that he was just doing it for fun, but I wouldn’t take his word that he was using fake info. The fact that he was hiding it is probably evidence enough that he’s fucking around.
Someone who’s bored doesn’t go and look for people on DATING apps for entertainment. If the roles were flipped he would’ve freaked out. Either he deletes the apps or you walk away. Simple as that.
Fucking hell
Fuck that.
Yeah I guess, if you’re okay with your boyfriend’s hobby to cure boredom is to talk with and flirt with single chicks who are looking to hookup……………
That’s a big fat fucking lie. Your BF is cheating or attempting to cheat
I’m really sorry bub, he is not it.
1, he hid it from you.
2, there are a literal many things to do if you are bored that doesn’t include being sneaky.
3, if he is using a fake account and names then he is quite disrespectful.
4, He is clearly a lier.
If you want to talk it through then do so. Tell him how you feel about it and that it is a hard boundary you have set. He cross that again. Drop him.
Personally sis, I wouldn’t. Especially since he has betrayed you knowing your history.
So he was cat fishing to get nudes and sext….
If he really wasn’t doing anything wrong I don’t think he would have to hide it from you. If he was just bored and thought that was an okay thing to do he should’ve talked to you about it. It’s really weird
Men in relationships use dating apps for the same reason women in relationships use dating apps.
Your boyfriend is cheating or considering it.
I mean best case scenario is he’s a psychopath catfishing people out there… which if far more concerning than trying to cheat (psychologically… in my opinion)
But yeah I’m a big supporter of Occam’s razor. He’s on the hunt
You’re being cheated on unfortunately, that’s literally the classic 18 year old white boy stereotype ‘babe, my friends set it up as a joke’.
Take care man, that fucking sucks.
Your boyfriend is having, or trying, to have an affair.
What would you say if one of your friends told you she was doing that? It’s not ok. You can do better, because this person has already signaled he doesn’t respect you, himself, or the relationship.
He has a story already built in his head to explain to the new chick why the fake profile and name. If one pans out and they hit if off. Then he will try the story out, and if works he is in. If it doesn’t then he will try a new story the next time. He is trying to anonymously fish, and see what’s out there.
Also probably trying to persuade randoms to send nudes.
I see a woman on a dating app who I knew was in a long term relationship with a sales person I worked with.. years ago that was they are still together so idk..
Unlikely
My entire life I have read personal ads. I find them interesting. It is no threat to my wife and I have shared some notable ads in the past.
Even with that in mind, the anonymity and easy connectivity with dating apps seem at best dangerous. However, more importantly, if it bothers you, he should stop it. If it means nothing to him, he shouldn’t care about stopping it.
Nah hes abit tired of you and are daydreaming checking his options. I do the same 😅
That’s not okay. Time to throw the whole man in the bin.
He should not. His claim of being bored as justification is a lie/deflection.
The real question here is what was the motivation to talk with random people on the internet in the context of hookups/relationships. There are no shortage of places to chat with rando folks about much safer topics and in much safer contexts.
Time to have a conversation, figure out the true motivation, and then see what you want to do next.