How do you deal with life/people when some people make you feel unsafe in public spaces?

8 comments

1. I deal w it, if someone is following me, i usually would go to the nearest person and pretend ik them

2. I avoid spaces where I will be at risk of being isolated, keep constantly aware of my surroundings, avoid going out alone whenever possible, avoid going out at night at all, I tell my mother, sisters and wife where I am when I am out alone, I have a GPS tracking program on my phone, I text when I get somewhere to confirm I arrived safely and again when I depart.

   If I’m being followed I will either walk into a store, restaurant or cafe or if I see police go say hello to the police (they will not do anything but they can intimidate someone following me).

   I’ve called a taxi to pick me up, drive away a distance, and then drive me back to a parking lot where my car is just to avoid men who are following me.

   I park in more upscale parking lots with better security and lighting, and I always check the backseat of my car before I get in.

   I do other things too, but this is most of it.

3. If I’m in a situation where I feel unsafe, I peace out. I’d rather overreact to a bad vibe than potentially be harmed. If I couldn’t leave a situation safely, I’d see if there was someone who could help me get to my car or call my husband to come get me. When I get in my car in any situation, I always lock the doors immediately.

   My husband generally knows where I am, especially if I’m doing anything that could be risky (like going to a concert alone at night). We text throughout the day, including when we’re out, so he’d know if something was up.

   I don’t want to live my life in such a way that certain things, like going out at night, are closed off to me; I’m not willing to use any kind of location-sharing app; and I don’t want to always have to tell people exactly where I’m going every time I go somewhere (like I don’t feel the need to tell my husband if I stop at a coffee shop on the way to work, etc.), so I do accept some level of risk that might feel weird to other people. I just make sure I’m aware of my surroundings and ready to bounce if need be.

4. I try to avoid it or leave the place

5. I literally never feel unsafe in public places. I’ve never had anything happen to make me feel that way. It isn’t something I even think about.

6. If I’m in any situation where I feel unsafe, I get out of that situation immediately.

7. Been training martial arts for the past 10 years (Muay Thai) and getting into BJJ now. From this training, I feel confident so I think it’s my energy that people sense because I don’t feel unsafe at all. I would never ever go toe to toe with anyone because that’s just stupid but if I ever was in any altercation, I’d do enough to make some space and get the hell out of there

8. I avoid places where I feel unsafe, or at least take someone with me so I won’t feel so worried. I’ve also been talking to a therapist about my anxiety and trying to understand what situations are actually dangerous and what aren’t, and how to be calmer in situations that aren’t dangerous.

   I don’t know your situation, so I can’t judge whether your danger is real or not, and I’m not trying to pass any judgment on that; I just know I personally have a tendency to panic in situations that don’t warrant it.