Hi,
A woman I met last year went to visit me earlier this year abroad. It was a beautiful time and felt in love. But she didn’t want a relationship at this moment. We intended to meet again as she left. As she didn’t want a relationship when I went travelling, I didn’t block my intimacy and had an intimate encounter or two for fun but still felt in love with this other woman.
One of the First things she asks when we meet again about 2 months after my journey ‘So how were your sexual adventures?’
I tell her that it was not my aim to travel for sexual adventures, I had some intimate encounters. It didn’t seem to bother her but later in bed she seems blocked because of it. We talk and have sex so thought it was resolved.
Before meeting for this second time it was a long journey and whilst on the journey she said she may cancel upon me as she was not feeling so good. This translates to me as besides its literal meaning as a message with subtext; ‘I’m not that interested and don’t care that you travel all way to me’, so I was making new travel plans just in case she would really cancel upon me, the day before meeting. My tactic was to contact all my friends around this wider area and see what they were up to, including my last ex.
In a conversation about our exes I shared that I knew she was doing some retreat for healing some trauma somewhere in a neighbouring country but didn’t know much more.
She asks: how did you learn about that?
Asking as I had potential time to spare as you were almost cancelling upon me.
And since then she is flipping out and distrustful in waves and every few days she will say that I should go see my ex and bad shit and gnarly distrustfulness… and it keeps coming back.. what to do?
we weren’t even in a relationship at this point, just exploring
I have the right to talk to whoever I want and it is really annoying and painful that someone makes something else out of something on a structural basis and have to ensure that I don’t want anything with this ex. Even before this when another woman was expressing some low key interest to me she suspects I had sex with this woman before…
As a friend an occasional check-in with an ex can be nice but never first priority, i only contacted her when she cancelled and was in her area since a long time.
I feel this is unresolvable as she keeps trying to find proof to confirm her narrative that I want this ex back. I really don’t want to waste my time on a relationship with someone who cheated at least with 2 different men and gaslights continuously..
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What to do?
1 comment
You know what to do.