Okay, so a bit of a background. We both have shitty mental health (ADHD, depression, etc), her energy levels are much higher than mine, I’m definitely on the spectrum, and I have shit social skills and I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend. (I also lost my sex drive for some reason, so there’s that too. Her drive is MUCH higher than my current drive)
I love her a lot, and she loves me a lot, but both of us know I haven’t been putting in much effort. I HAD attributed it to me losing my job for 5 months, along with my other issues, but I think this issue is intrinsic, and not affected by any outside issues.
She wants me to show her affection and love, and I want to do that, but I want to know what to do so I can do everything right and make her happy, as well as keep her happy.
I’m not sure if I shared enough information, but I really want to be better to her, so I’ll give this a shot. Thank you to everyone.
3 comments
Why don’t you ask HER how you can show her affection and love?
Everyone is different. Ask her how to fix it, not us.
Look up love languages. Do things that fit her love languages. Even doing the evaluation together could show her that you’re trying to be better.
Another tip is buying your girlfriend little gifts every month or so. Examples are: flowers, chocolate, a beautiful notebook, some magazines she might like, something for a hobby of hers, fancy coffee or tea if she likes that, a nice potted plant, jewellery etcetera. Carefully watch her reaction so you know what gifts she likes best. It’s not about the money, but about the effort and knowing what your gf likes. She might like a cute plush toy better than expensive jewellery.
Also a hit: leave sweet notes around the house. Buy nice postcards or use sticky notes and leave cute messages in her cupboard, on the bathroom mirror, on or in the fridge, in her bag etcetera.
Last tip: Take her out to lunch/dinner and pay for the both of you regularly. Or make a picnic if you’re short on money. You can also surprise her with a day out or even a holiday that she likes depending on your funds.