So I(M28) met this girl(F27) at a dog park about a month and a half ago. She was there with her friend and her dog. They were gushing over my pup so I sat with them and chatted while our dogs played. We had a great convo over a couple hours and I got their instagrams. She posted a photo of our dogs that night on her story and tagged me in it. Few days later I see her there by herself, we sit and chat for a couple hours over a few drinks (one of which I paid for). Got her number and sent her some pics of our pups together. It honestly felt like a spontaneous date.
Before I met her I had just started seeing a girl I met on Hinge and wanted to see how that would work out. I’m not one to date more than one person at a time, it feels exhausting to me. So I was kind of avoiding dog park girl, not going there very much. We were still liking each others stories and whatnot. A couple of weeks ago I posted a pic of my dog and she replied and said “Haven’t seen you guys in awhile”. So I told her we were going the next day and we should meet up. We did, had a couple more drinks (again I paid for one of hers.) Took a picture with her and the dogs and posted it on my story. Another week goes by and she makes a post of her recent highlights, one of which was that same photo and she tagged me in the post. At this point I’m thinking okay things are starting to heat up with us, and things with the girl I was seeing were starting to fizzle out and I ended things with her.
This past week, she replies again to a story I posted of my dog so I tell her we should meet up at the dog park. She then invites me to play trivia with her and her friends that night and I accept. We have a great time, actually ended up in first. Got along well with her friends and they all tell me I should join them every week. We both take photos of the night playing trivia together and post it on our stories. She had been posting about her rollerblading so I suggested we go rollerblading this weekend. She agrees, but as we’re leaving she tells me she’s getting dinner with a friend that night- first clue that she’s seeing someone.
She texts me before the weekend and suggests we take our dogs to the farmers market and go rollerblading after. Sounds like our first proper date to me. I’m thinking I’ll make my first move at the end of the date and go in for a kiss. We have our date today, end up spending like 5 hours together, had a great time. However, at the beginning of the date she tells me that last night she went paddle boarding with “this guy she is seeing”-confirmation. I’m thinking okay… Might not be something you’d tell someone you’re interested in. But in modern dating we all know it’s not uncommon to see multiple people at the same time. As I’m leaving her place at the end of the date we hug goodbye and I ask her if the she’s exclusive with the guy she’s seeing. She tells me no, that’s she’s just dating. I would have asked for a kiss but she was leaning down playing with her dog and it just didn’t feel like the right moment.
Anyway I post these cool videos of us rollerblading, obviously just the two of us, and she reposts them. From the outside, with no context, it would seem to everyone else we are dating or at least going on dates together. At no point since I’ve met her has she posted a photo, reposted, and or tagged another guy in a post. I’m the only one. So I’m a bit unsure of what to do going forward, and I’m not sure if she sees me as just a friend. Feels like a long time to be seeing someone without kissing and since she was open about seeing another guy, I don’t know what to think. I plan to see her again for trivia next week, and then maybe ask her out for drinks and go for the kiss then?? And honestly, if she does just want to be friends, I have no problem with that. I just enjoy hanging out with her.
Another thing is I met a really cute girl at a conference last week and got her instagram. She invited me to come by her work and check some things out. But I was going to hold off until I saw how things with dog park girl were going. Now I’m wondering if I should start seeing her as well since dog park girl obviously is seeing other people too. Any advice on this situation would be greatly appreciated.
5 comments
In my opinion you missed your opportunities to break the touch barrier where you kind of cross the friend zone line.
She probably doesn’t see you as anything other than a friend at this point. Don’t take it too personal.
This is such a cute story, and I mean that honestly and without any sarcasm. This is like the start to some feel good rom com or something.
She’s shown you interest – she suggests dates, missed you at the dog park, seeks out your company. She’s shown you transparency – she said she’s seeing someone, which some argue she didn’t *have* to do. She’s shown you she loves your company – for someone (a woman especially) to invite you to hang with their friends usually means they’re proud to bring you around, even if it’s just as a friend.
If it were me, I’d bring some dog treats for her pup the next time you see her. Bonus points if it’s treats you know her dog likes because you paid attention. Id also find a moment when us two are alone and tell her I appreciate her being cool, welcoming me to her friend group, etc. Then I’d compliment her (if it didn’t feel awkward in the moment, only you know), leave a beat for her giggle blush and thank you, and ask her to a dinner date for a place I had tentative reservation for.
“Can I take you out to [restaurant] Wednesday at [tentative reservation time, which can be changed]?”
If she accepts, you’re not in the friend zone. If she denies, tell her it’s cool, then *you* do what you need to do internally to make sure it’s cool, and then continue hanging out with your cool new friend group. Oh and date the new girl. You can only win this way. Either way you’re dating a girl!
Good luck bro. Always be direct – if you want her romantically, make an honest push at it. At a minimum, you found a cool new group of friends, and that’s only a plus. Who knows, maybe it’s one of these *new* connections that leads to the best one of your life.
Just be direct
And, explore your options, too
your in the DOGG zone brother.. move on..
Honestly, think it’s time one of you established what this relationship is. That means asking her out on a date instead of assuming that what the two of you are doing is a date (which it very well could be, but you don’t know yet). At least to me, I get the feeling she’s waiting for you to ask her out properly. I’d just bite the bullet and ask.