*Disclaimer: Went on a first date with a girl. She has definitely mental health issues and is very depressed (su\*c\*dal in fact)*
That being said; the entirety of the date she kept asking me if I wanted to see her again, she kept asking if I would ghost her but I said I won’t. She mentioned this 4-5 times and I even said I promise I won’t ghost her.We kept making plans about what we can do together and she was trying to say stuff like ‘you can come to my place; I can cook you food; we can go to park’. etc.
She was afraid I would ghost her when she opened up about her su\*c\*de attempts (she said she is over this, and going to therapy) but I said I am kind of fucked up too, I understand her and I don’t judge her for it. I said that even I have some abuse/trauma issues and it feels like I won’t be alone in this stuff.
All this happened very early in the date; and after this the date still went amazingly.She even bought me drinks. She literally said multiple times that she was having a great date, and texted her friend *in front of me* saying that she was having a great time. We kissed multiple times and she came back to my place. She said she didn’t want to have sex and I didn’t push ONE BIT. I said let’s take at your pace (cause she seemed to be in a tough place in her life). I said let’s meet soon and she ecstatically said her entire weekend is free.It ended on a good note.
HERE’s the Kicker.I usually tell girls to text me after they get home.
They almost always do but this girl didn’t. Whatever. Then I gave it a day, and texted the day after (went out on Tuesday, I texted on Thursday evening). No reply till now. Guess she is ghosting me now. I unmatched and deleted her number; I won’t even ask for an explanation.
**Where I stand:** I don’t hate her one bit.. I know her life is in a fucked up phase, so its ok. Logically my mind knows whats up.
20 comments
I mean are you sure she didn’t harm or attempt to harm herself? A friend of mine just posted on her FB how she was supposed to meet a friend of hers for dinner. He had blown her phone up all day. She called before leaving to find out where they would get together at and never heard back. Two days later found out he died of a heart attack.
The fact that she even mentioned ghosting on a first date, much less several times, plus made you PROMISE means she is insecure and not really date material, in my opinion. That’s the type that will freak if you’re at work or in the shower and don’t answer texts IMMEDIATELY..
I also have no problem attracting men but it never goes anywhere. Unless they’re fucked up. The fucked up ones stay. I suppose that means I’m fucked up.
Whatever I guess that’s life. Sorry to be so negative but wth, I’m a nice person, got my act together except for a bad picker.
this is kinda like when couples promise to be with each other forever then break up. they felt that way in the moment but things change. or promise not to cheat, or promise never to do XYZ, it happens. people’s allowed to change their mind unfortunately
Someone told you they are suicidal and in your position I’d be more concerned she is a ghost, rather than ghosting you. If she doesn’t get back to you.
projection
Don’t make promises and don’t commit blindly just say like if she asks are we dating and if so we must be exclusive. Say yes we are dating and we are only exclusive until one of us betrays this agreement then this relationship is completely over without a 2nd chance. If she ghosted you after the first date, no fowl no harm you dodged a bullet and thank your lucky stars she’s inconsistent so early on . She obviously has other issues unless she’s in the hospital unconscious then negat everything I said.
I hope she’s doing well but if she did it intentionally without any reason then I would say she didn’t deserve you.
You get dates and get laid? Then wtf is your real problem? Not to be a jerk but come on. She’s not into you. Move on to one of your other options and let her go. Don’t waste time or energy on the ones you didn’t get.
Hey bro I’m here for you. You’ll find a great girl, just keep at it. This girl… hopefully she’ll come around but until then, if it happens, you gotta let it go.
>She was afraid I would ghost her when she opened up about her su*c*de attempts
Oh God I hope she’s alive.
No offence to her and hope she’s ok, but you’ve dodged a bullet dating someone who as you e described it seems incredibly needy, mentally unstable and hypocritical.
Dating app genius here. And dating guru/expert. Yep! Same has happened to me before. Remember, women on dating apps are looking for you to “show your cards” as soon as possible and get you to let your guard down. Just remember that : ) You have got to keep in mind that most women lie more often, than they tell the truth on dating apps. Dont turn your back on them…ever. Hope this helps. Cheers! : )
This happens quite often. People project and want to pretend like they are better than those they talk down on , but then are the same
She didnt want to get hurt so she hurt you instead.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
How are you responsible for her actions exactly in the situation you didn’t force her to a ghost you did you or am I wrong about that?
But hey, I guess it’s pretty responsible for you to take responsibility for her actions I guess.
🤣
Christ man, you get 2 or 3 dates a week? I may get that in a year.
When someone asks you to make those kinda promises what they really mean is they want YOU to promise not to do that, they ad themselves to it just to make you feel better.
You went about this the wrong the way. You should do everything you can to get her to go on another date. Get to know her more. Let her open up to you and feel comfortable. Make her start believing again. And just when she least expects it, crush whatever little hope she has left for the world. Leave her with absolutely nothing.
It’s probably not a good idea for two people who have mental issues, whether resolved or not, to date each other.