What’s your ultimatum for you romantic partner? What needs to change for you stay?

10 comments

1. Nothing, I’m very happy with my partner and the life we are building together.

2. Nothing, I’m happy.
   An ultimatum is usually the beginning of the end.

3. Taking care of your mental and physical health.

   I’m not going to stay in a relationship with someone who refuses to take care of their issues. I know this is a rather privileged take, but I am specifically referring to those who have the means and simply chose not to.

   Don’t want to get a physical every few years? Don’t want to treat your mental health needs? Won’t call out when sick? Byeeeee I’m out. I’m not going to date someone who doesn’t make their health a priority.

   And yes. I had a big old fight with my spouse over this. Not the first man I’ve dated who didn’t remember how to make a god forsaken doctors appointment.

4. The lack of self awareness and improvement along with learning how to clearly communicate like it’s the most basic social skills even more in a relationship to prevent stupid arguments ! This TRULY needs to change because I’m getting closer and closer to my limit of acceptance. I’m his partner not his mom, it’s not my job to re-educate him and I’m being extremely nice with my words cause if I would let myself the list would be explosive, lol.

5. nothing; he’s perfect 🥺

6. Nothing needs to change. That’s why we’ve been together so long.

7. I don’t give ultimatums. Waste of time. They only change temporarily, if at all. I just end it and moved on now.

8. Nothing could keep me. He cheated. I’m leaving.

9. There are no ultimatums – you shouldn’t go into relationships with the expectations that they change or you stay. People show you who they are, and if they aren’t good enough for you, don’t try to bully them into being someone they’re not, they’ll just end up resenting you and you’ll break up later anyways. You can in fact just date people who are already close to the person you’re looking for.

   I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t have their mental or financial shit together. Mental meaning, understands they have shit they’re dealing with and actively working on it, not just using it as an excuse to get out of participating in the relationship. I was also poor for too long to allow myself to slide back into poverty with someone who doesn’t have the ambition to do better and can’t save a dime.

10. Not accepting his flaws & refusing to work on them. Big 🚩 no-no for me.