I (21F) have social anxiety due to being bullied for long years and then being betrayed by my only close friends. I find it really hard meeting someone new, especially when sober, but I can’t just always ask for people to come and talk to me. It’s easier when one or two friends are with me, but it’s the worst when alone and facing a new group. I constantly feel like people can sense my awkwardness and label me as a weirdo.
I tend to find one target to talk to in these situations, but quickly run out of topics. I was an over-sharer as I can’t think of what to talk about when topics run out but I deeply hate that and am trying to change. Now I mostly just keep quiet and stand alone by a bar as I don’t want to appear weird and uncomfortable nor to overshare when chatting, but simply standing alone seems very awkward in a party as well.
How do you guys improve your social skills, like where do you start and how do you continue with the topic? I’m terrible at socialising..
2 comments
In my experience, groups larger than 4-5 people usually divide into smaller groups of several people. If you are new to this group, try to listen what people are talking about. Probably, you’ll hear a topic that is close to you. Try to enter this conversation.
Say hi and get to know them. Let conversation flow. 9 out of 10 people won’t become your friend overnight and most people got so much stress they don’t even know they are ignoring you.
If you smoke and don’t start to make friends a lighter or a pass can make a buddy. But don’t dip into your stock more than once. Gave away a carton of smokes before I finally said “fuck you”.