I know the outcome depends on the partner, but have you ever let your partner move in with you when they couldn’t continue supporting themselves on their own? What happened?

21 comments

  1. We ended up married with a kid. This year will be our 17th year together. I love them.

  2. I personally would never, if you can’t keep yourself a float I’m not going to get brought into that either. (I only date men at least 3 years older than me, if I can do it at 20 you should be in the same if not better spot than me)

  3. I was taken advantage of. Though technically I moved in with them, suddenly all the bills and and stuff were on me to pay while they ran around with disposable income.

    If you want me, great. Let’s talk. If you need me, I’m not interested.

  4. It didn’t end well. His finances was in a worse state than what he told me.

  5. Been living together 6 months and things are great. Only impact it’s had is that partner is happier and feels better about life, which let’s them be more present in our relationship with less life stress.

    Last year I also had a casual relationship where they were facing being homeless, she moved in with me for a month and we put the relationship on pause so there wouldn’t be any power dynamic awkwardness. She was able to find a place again and we kept casually dating until eventually she moved out of town to get things sorted out.

  6. I mean if you’re okay supporting him then go for it. Otherwise I wouldn’t.

  7. Ended up being in a DV relationship and in the middle of it I attempt suicide. Don’t recommend.

  9. I became responsible for everything. I didn’t realize just how expensive he was, and because I was spending more to cover him and his son, I couldn’t save up to leave . Eventually I became dependent on what little money he could or would contribute . Like, I was working 3 jobs once while he held down a part time security guard job

    Then I went to school, and got a state union job. It’s California, so it’s not the best pay but it was more than I brought in before. I finally ended things with him a few years back, wish I had done it sooner.

    Part of the reason I stayed was because I felt bad that he (after 10 years together) was financially wrecked and would need my money help. When we broke up I assumes he would fix himself but nope. He’s still broke and has been sleeping on his sister’s sofa for the whole time.

  10. Bad. I was renting a room from a relative, and he moved in with me. He was a complete man child who didn’t drive, would quit jobs, and manipulated me to be involved in all his side projects. He couldn’t do anything by himself, and I wasn’t allowed to have my own interests without him trying to invade. He had so much crap, I literally only had my side of my the bed to exist. And it was my only space not invaded by him because he didn’t like to cuddle either. I drove him, cooked for him, and cleaned up after him. It was such a relief when I broke up with him and he finally moved out

  12. Resentment. Of having to pay for absolutely everything even their own personal things at times. If your lucky your partner appreciates it and shows it by doing things like helping out at home and working hard to find a job. If your not lucky then you have a leach at home who won’t help with anything. They will expect you to not for everything and still come home and do all the chores. Will to manipulate you in anyway they can so you won’t leave them or have them look for an actual job.

  13. My husband was kicked out by his abusive parents when we were just together for half a year (which was actually his parents reason – they hated me and disliked that he spent time with me on the weekends, thus kicking him out as punishment, hoping he would crawl back begging for mercy. Which he didn’t.) .
    He was without a place to go, without income, just with a bag with a few clothes.
    He joined my shared flat and I paid for him. Due to the flat being too small and getting into conflict with my friends we moved out into our own apartment (which helped those friendships too) and are living there ever since.

    He still wouldn’t be able to support himself due to mental health issues and I don’t want him to have to live off Bürgergeld. I’m the breadwinner, he does household and all that. We’re happy together since 13 years and married. So it worked out fine.

  14. I ended up realising they were the reason for their financial issues. They had me almost broke until I kicked them out.

  16. He became lazier and more entitled. Even asking him to help around the house or let me know when he would be home at night was apparently asking too much. He eventually just stopped coming home entirely. At that point I made it clear that my home was not a hotel that he could live in rent free as he pleased. A year later he’s still telling people I kicked him out as if I was wrong for not wanting to be treated like a housekeeper. At least housekeepers get paid.

  18. We are now home owners and now have a dog. His parents lived under the welfare system, he had a thick Spanish accent, and he couldn’t get a job. He tried everything but refused to give up. We got an apartment together and next thing I knew he got hired as a teacher’s aid. A few years later, I fell into financial crisis and he paid everything for me for a couple of months. Then I got hired as a high school teacher. I guess what comes around, goes around.

  19. Based on what I’ve seen it turns into a nightmare. Dating some one and seeing them from time to time is totally different then LIVING with a person. You see a whole new version of them lol and it can mess up alot of relationships. I say never move in with anyone unless it’s a serious relationship or your married.

  20. I was the partner who couldn’t support myself. It’s been a major success and we’re looking at marriage. Definitely need to have a good relationship to begin with, transparency about finances, employment or income and negotiate bills.

  21. My now husband let me move in with his mom and him when i was 17, i was finishing my senior year and couldnt find work with my school schedule so he paid the rent and bills, bought me a phone and helped, weve hit a lotttttt of rocky patches along the way to now, most financial but thats because my senior year was also 2020 so you know..covid. but as soon as jobs opened up i did as much as i could to provide as much as i could, im the more financially responsible one so he had put me in charge of finances and because of that and both of us working hard we were able to buy a house when i was 19. Now we are married and have a baby on the way finances are iffy but thats because his job kept pushing back the starting day until 2 weeks ago (he was supposed to start in december bc i had to get out of work bc of health struggles the past year and a half but i didnt stop working until he told me to i didnt fully stop until november but i had severely shortened hours since january of last year) we are getting our stuff situated now for when the baby comes but finances are a struggle, he has never once blamed me bc i tried to help as much as i could, our main stressor was bc it was all on him he was stressed (he used to tell me it was bc of being overworked and not being able to provide me a lot but i would reassure him it wasnt needed and he could take a break when needed bc i want us happy, not killed by overworking) we have always tried to help eachother, and try to be understanding. Im about to be a stay at home mom a few years earlier than we planned (bc i still cant work, i was supposed to work a few years before being a stay at home) we have always supported eachother 100% most of our curcumstances were outside forces though.

    IF there are already existing issues, finances are a HUGE stressor. The relationship has to be solid in this type of situation otherwise it will be a big strain on the relationship

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