Weird one this to be honest.
My girlfriend used to be skinny a few years back. She used to go clubbing, have an active social life and so on. Then she had a notable surgery on her back, decided not to go clubbing or anything anymore, and gained some weight. All of this stuff happened when I didn’t know her.
I’ve been with her nearly a year. She’s never been anywhere near overweight, always a healthy weight, just a bit heavier than her very skinny past. She mentioned how she wants to lose weight once or twice, and in the last month or so has lost 6kg. For some reason this makes me feel insecure. I fear that she’ll start getting hit on even more and start clubbing again. I don’t know why this even makes me insecure. She always says she loves me and I have no reason to doubt this. So I don’t know why I take her making herself healthier as a bad thing. Thoughts and any possible advice?
**TL;DR: girlfriend losing weight makes me insecure. Looking to get over it**
8 comments
You gotta trust her. And I think if she really wants to lose this weight, its something you should encourage/involve yourself in as well. She seems loyal to me. And well if she does go out again, why not go with her?
Something like 97% of dieters gain the weight back over time.
You are just insecure and you think she will find someone more attractive. Why don’t you work on yourself and be the best version of yourself so you feel great about yourself?
It is somewhat understandable, as we know how men typically operate… For most people, losing weight would result in an improvement in the looks department and that would typically come with more attention from the opposite sex. This is especially true for women losing weight, as men are more visual when ot comes to attraction from the opposite sex
If she is wanting to make a positive change in her life, such as losing weight and being more healthy, then you have to support her as her partner. Supporting her will make her value you more, or at least it should. You can’t let the fear of losing her control your relationship with her…
You “fear she’ll start getting hit on even more” as if that’s her fault? As if that’s something she can control?
You fear she might want to go out to clubs with her friends? As if you think she shouldn’t go out or have a social now that she has you?
This is all *your* insecurity, which means it’s *your* issue to deal with. Either you trust her or you don’t.
Look even if guys hit on her, that doesn’t mean anything. We women get hit on all the time, in all kinds of places. Sometimes it’s funny, mostly it’s annoying, and it’s all futile when we love our partner. We know how to handle that sort of thing. Guys will shoot their shot – and get shot down in flames.
You could always go out with her (as long as you aren’t going to be super insecure or overly possessive).
She’s feeling better, she’s feeling more like her old self after her surgery. This sounds like a good thing to me. Encourage her, don’t stifle her.
Why not join her in her weight loss so you both can be fit and attractive to each other?
IF your GF is cheater, she’s going to cheat regardless, if that’s what she really wanted to do!
Be happy for her…. And if you see she’s starting to change or do things you’re not ok with, then she was never meant for you in the first place.
I lost 30lbs & I do get way more attention but that doesn’t make ME unfaithful.
Fight them those insecurities in the gym, if you haven’t signed up – do it tmmr. Also, self love and validation goes a long way but that’s more mental strength