My GF(23) and me (28) met 3 Years ago, during COVID-19 in 2020. It was a friendly-based relationship at first. But then, things got serious. We slept together and started dating. However, she had another guy parrallel with me, and I was still seeing my now ex GF. We were both shits, honestly.
However, we cleared all our luggage from before and started out fresh in the February of 2021. Fast forward to today, she is now diagnosed with a bad diagnosis and we are both struggling with it. But, just recently, I found out that she was trash talking about our sex life at the very start and that she is not happy with my length. I am average (15-16cm), but I found out that she wrote a lot of her friends and in her diary that I am not enough for her and that sex is not good for her, despite the fact we had and still have sex on a regular basis.
Should I confront her? Should I just forget about that since it was 3 years ago? To put things into perspective, we are currently living together for 2 years and we really enjoy our time together. But this just doesn’t fit…
5 comments
Just completely disappear from her life. Change email, phone number and get out.
Oof. Rough as fuck. You didn’t find any complaining from more recently, right? I think that if it’s possible for you to dissociate what she thought of you when you started dating from what she thinks of you now as it is likely very different and brush it off, that’s the best play. But that’s definitely much easier said than done.
If you feel like you must have a conversation with her about it, that’s understandable, but you should take the time to consider what potential benefit that could provide. Are the reassurances she is certain to begin profusely providing going to seem sincere or are they going to ring hollow?
You can confront her if it bothers you that much, but you will also need to explain why you invaded her privacy in the first place.
If it were me and you have no reason to believe she still does this or thinks this, I’d just leave it alone.
I think you should ask her about it and give her a chance to explain. How she reacts is going to determine where to go from there. She really needs to not only apologize, but to explain what was behind those messages. If she blows it off like you should not feel bad about them, then I’m afraid that she really is a “shit” as you put it.
Don’t approach her with anger, but with calm concern. Give her chance to come clean and be remorseful and embarrassed.
If you’ve started by clearing luggage, and things are better; dismiss it as someone who didn’t value you then…but does value you now. Maybe there were maturity issues.