TLDR: Been having communication issues w/ my boyfriend of 3yrs. Emotional feelings and communication has dwindled drastically since his online friends have become a strong point in his life (which i support but it feels like we’re barely even a thing anymore). Need help on how to communicate my issues, advice from people who have gone through something similar, or help on how to heal my jealousy if it is just that.
I really love my boyfriend we’ve been together for about 3 (going on 4yrs.), he makes me incredibly happy but I’ve been feeling forgotten. I don’t really see him around campus since hes in some program, we dont play games together because he only plays VR, and when I message him he responds like 2 weeks later.
This sounds bad but I understand he’s busy with school, playing games with his friends, not in the mood to talk which is okay. I’m understanding, I get that sometime people just arent in the mood.
However whenever we do play together he shows me off to his friends, so idk. But ever since he got onto VR thats been his entire life, he only talks about the game, about his friends, what hes doing in it and I allow him to talk, i enjoy hearing what he has to say but when I talk about something I enjoy and its not of interest to him he doesn’t bother to care at all. Which really I shouldn’t expect him to because i cant force him to care, I get it. But this has been going on for like 1.5 years and it just kind of sucks. He used to really talk to me but i feel replaced or like emotionally cheated on, he doesn’t want to talk to me about his feelings but will talk to his friends. I feel like the only difference is that I’m physically there and they’re not. Im thinking im just jealous because Im not the only person he talks to anymore but i dont know. I don’t want to have to force him to talk to me but i miss my boyfriend. I miss him alot.
Heres what I planned to say to start tye convo:
“Hey Arthur, I don’t really want to bother you but I was hoping if you could let me know if you had time to talk about us. Sorry if this is an intrusion, this conversation can wait in the future or whenever you feel good enough to respond.”
(Is this too soft, should i phrase it better, is it too forward?)