Last week my girlfriend had the house to herself, so I stayed the whole week. Naturally we had more intimate time for ourselves and we enjoyed it.
A couple of days later she told me that she got bladder infection and it was so serious and painful for her that she had to spend a night in the hospital.
I was already very embarrassed about what I had caused her. But she also got comments from her mom and sister that it was caused because of sexual intercourse.
Yesterday when I visited her, I felt really awkward around them and they did too, they were colder than usual, nobody talked about the elephant in the room.
I feel so embarrassed that I don’t think I’ll be ever capable of visiting them again. They think that I’m not hygienic or that I don’t wash my private parts, I do, I shower literally every day. Even after going to the toilette I wash my private parts with water.
I feel horrible.
TL;DR: My girlfriend got bladder infection becuase of me now I feel awkward around her and her family.
43 comments
You didn’t “cause” it. You both consensually had intercourse, and she got a bladder infection. This could be because one of both of you didn’t clean well before or afterwards, or because you had a lot of friction around her urethra area, or she may not be drinking enough water, or she may be prone to bladder infections, etc… However, this is hardly your “fault”.
Bladder infection can be caused by her not peeing after sex and lots of other reasons. They’ll forgive you eventually.
y’all both just need to wash before and after sex, as well as pee after sex
I get utis sometimes, and sometimes it’ll happen after not having sex for weeks. Sometimes it’ll be from having sex IMMEDIATELY after we both showered. I am a pretty clean person, it just happens and it’s sucks. It’s not embarrassing, and it is nobody’s fault. Just stay clean and always make sure she pees after!
Ok, so maybe this song will make you feel better? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_pi8yBaooQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_pi8yBaooQ)
In all seriousness…the typical advice is to make sure everything is very clean and wash right before and after…but even if you do that, UTI’s still happen sometimes. Having sex more frequently definitely is a factor.
For her family–did they not know that the two of you were having sex? If that’s not an issue, I think you can avoid talking about it with them. It is just part of life for a lot of sexually active women, unfortunately. You don’t need to be embarrassed because you were the one having sex with her.
There used to be a term called honeymoon cystitis because so many women developed uti’s on on their honeymoon. Peeing after sex seems to help.
Unless either of you two fail to properly wash your hands after using the restroom or chaning a baby’s diapers, you did not cause it.
It’s very very common for women to get a UTI after sex. Please don’t be embarrassed, you likely didn’t cause it. You’re asking the right questions, you clearly care about her health and emotional well being. Don’t bring it up to her family, there doesn’t need to be shame around it but they don’t need to engage with you about their relative’s sex life. That’s not appropriate.
Like others have said, she should pee after sex, but if it happens again, that doesn’t mean you or here are dirty. It could mean a different problem so if it reoccurs, she should see a doctor again
Women have a shorter urethra than men so they are more prone to water infections. It may have nothing to do with you at all. Sometimes we just get them. You can reduce the risk by making sure you both wash your hands and genitals before sex, make sure she stays hydrated and pees after any sexual activity, even masturbation. You can also try and avoid a lot of friction around the urethra.
But honestly if her family are blaming, you they’re being ridiculous. She could have got a UTI even if she were a virgin. Even something like switching body wash or washing powder can cause it. My first UTI was when I was 8 and most definitely a virgin. So stop beating yourself up.
Does she pee after sex? Gotta make sure to always make sure to pee right afterwards. You don’t need to beat yourself man you didn’t cause these things happen a lot
its not your fault there are many factors that could cause it
Don’t feel bad about it, women get UTI’s over anything and everything.
Dude I’m almost 44 I’ve had them plenty of times. It just happens. She needs to pee before sex and after. Everyone washes their hands beforehand, try to make sure no fluids from the anal area end up in the vaginally area and shower right after if you think they did.
Does SHE blame you? If not then no worries mate.
Also highly recommend switching to a hypoallergenic unscented soap for babies, like Aveeno. Helped me a lot as other soaps can irritate and make situation worse.
So you wash your dick after you take a piss? That seems a little over board.
It’s not your fault!!
Also aside from everyone here is saying about peeing right after – make sure you use lube. If she gets dry at all the friction is too much and can irritate the urethra and make it worse
People can usually feel the urinary tract infections before they turn into bladder or kidney infections. She may have some part in it being so bad before she got help. Don’t blame yourself. I get them frequently so I cannot forget to pee and wash up after intercourse. It happens it’s natural and it’s not because you are dirty. Don’t be embarrassed.
You get a bladder infection because you don’t go pee enough during sex.. This takes 2 people… She should be as embarrassed as you, if not more!
Google “honeymoon cystitis” and stop feeling ashamed. It’s a very well known phenomenon. If you have very frequent intercourse over a particular period, it is more likely to result in a UTI.
Congratulations on the sex
Oh honey. I wish I could give you a hug. These things happen and it’s not your fault. There’s nothing you can do to prevent it 100%, but you can make sure you’re clean before sex and your gf needs to remember to drink lots of water and pee before and after sex. Don’t be hard on yourself.
This is so common in women after sex. It’s not because of you, specifically, but because you have a penis and she has a vagina and the mechanisms of sex. That’s it.
Her mom and sister have probably had this happen, too.
Don’t be embarrassed. It just happens. It even has a name- honeymoon cystitis. Look it up – it’s so common.
Bladder infections are extremely easy for women to get. Our urethra is really short and the opening is very near the vagina. If a woman doesn’t immediately pee after sex, bacteria can get pushed into the opening during sex and cause a UTI. Even if you do pee after sex you can still get a UTI. These are things more young women should learn before becoming sexually active but from her mother and sister’s reaction, my guess is that they haven’t really done much talking about proper care and maintenance of that whole region.
Yes, it probably is because of the sex. It happens, it’s happened to me. I’m sorry her family are giving you grief over it.
Keep your genitals as clean as possible and be careful when inserting (often best if one of you uses their hand to guide you in so you’re not rubbing around the exterior and transferring bacteria in, if you get my meaning), then she needs to wipe down and pee afterwards. I’d advise keeping some kind of clean, soft fabric to hand so she can wipe before she even gets out of bed. T-shirts work great.
Your girlfriend may also benefit from keeping her water intake up and peeing regularly to further reduce the chance of recurrence.
Like I said, it happens. It’s sad for your girlfriend and you’re a good person for being worried and wanting to stop in happening again.
Hey hey!
Nurse here!
I know you must feel bad about her getting a UTI, but please don’t!
They are so common and most if not all women are aware of the risks… sex is one of many!
A woman’s urethra is typically about 4cm (sorry for metrics) long from neck of bladder to the opening.. so, not a long distance at all for bacteria to travel into the bladder and well, cause a UTI.
Cranberry tabs, Urine Alkalinising sachets are also a good prophylactic measure to prevent one from occurring, as well as peeing after sex and keeping well hydrated and wiping from front to back..
Some women are more prone to them than others.
They absolutely can become serious if left untreated as they can cause kidney infections.
Prevention is always better than cure 🙂
As for feeling embarrassed and awkward around her family, you’re both of adult consenting age, then there’s not much her family can do about it.
It is no one else’s business!
She likely got it from not peeing after sex. Some women will get them after sex even if they do everything right including peeing and washing. For that you can get a prescription antibiotic. One dose after sex. Most of the time it’s macrobid. You can see a urologist regarding this
UTIs absolutely can happen from sexual intercourse but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are dirty or unhygienic. Women have shorter urethras and sex means lots of sweat and bodily fluids being pushed around, and with that, bacteria. We all have bacteria on us, you can’t avoid it no matter how clean you are. She might make a point of urinating after sex in the future just to try to clean her urethra out since it will flush any bacteria out, but this could have happened even if she had. Sometimes people just get bladder infections from not peeing after sex, sometimes they get them from other things. Either way, neither of you are to blame.
Uhhhh happens often.
Make sure you shower before sex. Make sure she pees after sex.
It’s as much her fault too
A woman is supposed to pee after sex. Every time. This will prevent the bladder infection or UTI.
My ex used to get them extremely easily – there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s fairly common.
It’s not your fault. Some women are really susceptible to UTI’s and need to take extra precautions. She may have had an infection brewing before hand and became symptomatic afterwards. Who knows? Forgive yourself.
Ouch! Every woman I know gets a UTI (bladder infection) at some point the first few months after she starts being sexually active. Then we get told to pee right after sex. Like couldn’t someone have said something beforehand?!?
I’ve been married 30 years. I pee right after sexual activity 100 percent of the time to reduce the risk. Every time!
It’s just part of being an adult.
Drink more water, atleast 4-5 liters and there will never be stones or UTIs.
don’t even blame yourself this happened to me so many times and my ex didn’t even gaf 😫 it’s nice that you care but at the end of the day nothing you can do more other than support her etc. she has to start taking into precaution all the measures to prevent it like peeing after sex, latex free condoms etc. you should help remind her
You didn’t cause it. She needs to make sure she pees after sex.
Not your fault, it is common knowledge that she has to pee after sex.
They can blame you as much as they want, it will not change how the human body works.
Shame on the mother for not educating her daughter :/
Edit: reading your comments. Lol, they are so young and still learning a lot…it is so cute hahaha.
Cranberry juice is a natural way to help deal with bladder infections. My ex used to get it once every 4-5 months, she just drank it.
Not sure if it works to reduce the chances
Funny cause most bladder infections are caused by Escherichia coli (E. coli). This type of bacteria is naturally present in the large intestines. An infection can occur when bacteria from your stool get on your skin and enter your urethra.
Did you have shit on your dick? Or does she not wipe herself correctly?
Ok. Hilarious embarrassing story time. When my husband and I were first dating he decided to do some romantic stuff. He ran me a bubble bath with oils and rose petals…aaaaaaand well we uhh got carried away. Well two days later it starts to burn when he pees. He calls me and is a little freaked out because he called his dad to ask what it could be and his dad said obviously it was an STI. Oh. My. God. I was mortified. We went to the Dr that day and it turns out it’s a UTI from the bath water. Sooo yeah. We’ve been married for 17 years and it’s a hilarious story now.
Dude you’re fine, my bf and I went thru the same situation, we had sex and then oops i got a UTI, it’s no big deal all she needs is antibiotics. You’re young and you might feel like this is a huge deal and it’s embarrassing but it’s totally common and I promise nobody is thinking about it as much as you think they are! Just make sure you guys both pee after sex and are clean before doing anything, don’t worry 🙂
It just happens sometimes even if both parties do everything right. Sometimes they happen for literally no reason at all! It’s fine, really
Bladder infections can result from sex, but also from wiping back to front, not drinking or peeing enough, stress etc. They are incredibly common and you’d struggle to find a human being who doesn’t get them at some point in their lives
Your gf’s family are trying to shame her. Don’t take that shame on yourself
I haven’t had one (touch wood) since I split with my ex 9 months ago.
Sometimes its poor hygiene, but also can be caused by other things like not peeing after sex.