I’m in a bit of a dilemma and would appreciate some advice. I am an only child and an only grandchild, and my grandparents (88 and 87) are incredibly important to me. I grew up very close to them and want to be there to help my mom care for them when/if they require direct assistance. Currently, we all live in the same metro area, along with my girlfriend.
However, my girlfriend is from a town 250 miles (4 hour drive) away, and her entire social circle, including friends and family, is there. She often expresses her desire to spend more time with them, and I understand and support that. We visit her hometown frequently, but it never feels like enough. We’ve also discussed starting a family together, and I recognize her need for a support network during that time.
Recently, she mentioned a job opening in her parents’ city that she wants to apply for. We’re both interested in a long-term commitment, and I was planning to propose to her soon. However, I want to ensure we can find a resolution to this issue before moving forward.
How can we navigate our conflicting desires for where to live and create a compromise that works for both of us? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
2 comments
There is no way for us to be able to tell you how to approach this. Honestly communication is key and it sounds like you both are just kind of dropping hints. Moving is a big deal and it can be a lot. Getting the same page asap is optimal. I think you guys need to sit down and be open and transparent with that you want.
All you can do is communicate honestly about this and discuss your options together – including whether or not you’re actually long-term compatible due to these conflicting desires. It sucks, but you can truly love someone, have a healthy relationship, and just be unfortunately incompatible in a way that means you have to break up. There is not a magic bullet answer to everything. I wish you two the best and hope you can come to a happy conclusion.