Not sure if anyone else agrees with me. But for me personally it takes me a while to trust a guy.
The last guy I liked I posted about on Reddit, and he was talking to me via just a social media app. He had just moved to the US, so I started to feel it was sus like maybe he had a girlfriend back at home.
However, all of his social media doesn’t say that once i added him. Tbh I think he was just weird.
I just think sometimes in dating you have to use your own best judgment since you actually know the person.
Edit: to clarify, people on Reddit were making fun of me for talking to him like he wasn’t taking me seriously and definitely has a girlfriend or wife back at home and he’s a walking red flag. It just added to my anxiety to dump him when there was no proof.
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Ok… what does this have to do with the advice you got on her being toxic?
Dating advice is just that. It’s personal opinions based on personal experiences and perceptions. That advice can be perceived by the questioner as toxic following their own personal circumstances. For someone else the same advice could be perceived as helpful. I agree one should always use their best judgment and not rely on others to determine their choices. I view advice as an opportunity to consider other options or stimulate new thoughts. Ultimately advice isn’t about making anyone follow a path they are not convinced of.
It is often toxic many people here push an agenda. People that say “all women bad / all men bad” “i hate happy people and want to ruin it” and so much more. And then the “but i dont like it”. I often see people are completly confused about my posts. For example i hate drugs and its an absolute no for me that doesnt mean i wouldnt say “if you like drugs then date the drug addict it has to fit YOUR lifestyle.”
People are different and we only know a few facts about the situation. Its a one sided view too that makes it especialy hard.
I personally try to be as open and objective as possible but of course i have a specific mindset. I want people to get into relationships and be open about making sacrifices for it too. So it can be a bit toxic deepending on the view. I wouldnt say “no stop it you need the perfect one” because i think its unrealistic and there is a risk in every situation.
Its realy complicated and advice should be just one piece of the puzzle. Perhabs just starting to think about it in another perspective. But its not like a “Walkthrough” like for a video game.
YTA, divorce
One of my mentors has a saying: “All advice is auto-biography.”
All the people giving advice on Reddit are doing so through the lens of their own past experiences. It’s either something that worked for them, didn’t work for them, or some conclusion they’ve drawn based on their dating life. None of it will be 100% accurate 100% of the time for 100% of people.
So yes, take the advice with a caution, observe, use your best judgement. Keep in mind where advice comes from.
Everyone is different. Everyone is weird.
We’re gonna match and brake up until we cannot. Trust yourself and be yourself!
Reddit is not representative of real life, and a lot of people who post here have little life experience. Reddit also unfortunately has the view that dating partners are disposable, and at any sign of issues you should immediately remove someone from your life.
You’re not wrong, take every piece of advice from Reddit with a massive grain of salt, including mine.
I’m confused. What was the advice you got from Reddit in this example?
Taking to Reddit for any advice should be taken with a grain of salt. A lot of the people giving their “advice” are not advisors or therapists. There are people who make great points and some who do not. Just because a piece of advice was toxic for you doesn’t mean it was toxic for someone else. The trick is to do whatever you think is best for you. Taking Redditers advice as true gospel and it not working out the way they said it would is frankly not their fault….thats on you.
That’s what I always think. Ppl on this app always go straight to that u need to cut things off or end things when they really aren’t being provided with the whole context
Looks like my love life is safe from Reddit’s toxic advice! #ForeverAlone
I used to trust everybody unconditionally now. I trust my gut instinct when I think something is wrong I know to stay away
TIL that some people didn’t know that some of the dating advice on Reddit is toxic and can end relationships!
Social media is toxic and asking for dating advice on an open forum is a red flag in its self. Wanna live a happy life? Find someone, kill both of your social medias, and live life. Fuck what the world thinks or says is normal.
You meen taking advice from strangers online isn’t always the best choice? Who’d have known
Perhaps, but I think it’s also fair statement that most of the people posting about their dates on Reddit are posting about toxic dates.
You have to go with your gut instinct. I agree @ take time. If something doesn’t seem to add up, it usually doesn’t. Trust is impt.
*guy does something mildly inconvenient*
“Break up with him, pack your stuff, leave, start dating multiple people”
*girl makes a post about not being able to leave toxic relationship*
“THERAPYsquawkTHERAPYbokTHERAPY*
Reddit is actually toxic. Let’s be honest with ourselves. Still gonna use it buuuuuuut
Reddit dating advice is basically telling people to go therapy over the most minor things, telling people to break up over mild inconveniences, calling any disagreements or quirks red flags, and telling single people who are frustrated to “work on themselves”.
I know others have said this already, but it really is true that the vast, VAST majority of people on Reddit have zero relationship experience. These are the type of people who have never had friends growing up, let alone romantic partners. They give advice even though they’re not in a position to because it’s fun. They base their advice on what they think should happen as well as what everybody else here says. Anybody who has ever been in a relationship knows that the advice given here isn’t based in reality.
Asking for advice online is a tough situation. We aren’t mind readers and a lot of people leave out pertinent information.
that’s kinda on you for thinking reddit is the right place for advice.
bro dont trust anyone because one day they will turn they back on you love isn’t even love anymore its just a break from the sadness you go thru everyday because 2 ways the relationship ends is break up or [death.you](https://death.you) just cant escape sadness its always there
May I ask what were your expectations when you first posted about your dilemma on here? Were you looking for advice, venting, or looking for someone to relate to? Not that anyone should be rude, but can it be that you also let certain comments get to you? If you are someone who gets anxiety from posting on social media or blogs/chat boards, maybe stay away from it and work on those anxieties. Wish you the best!
There are many miserable people on reddit and these people want you to be as miserable as them. Take their advice with a pinch of salt.
I think talking to people on Reddit about relationships is more like being in a class in college where you’re asked to brainstorm with a group. On brainstorming some ideas are ridiculous or bad but even those can lead to other thoughts or questions. I think you can learn things observationally through Reddit. For example I was in an average woman dating thread yesterday and was horrified by the women calling themselves cute enough to have sex with but not pretty enough for relationship, there’s literally no such thing, and that promiscuous men who use women for sex have convinced some women their own failure to be adult men or decent people is because of the way their date looks says shocking things about our society that should be considered. We should consider that 18 year old boy virgins are posing as average looking women too.
But people can say stupid horrible things or helpful things or a lot of junk in between that can help you think through your own business.
Yup, your gut often leads you right. 2 of the dating subs are just a massive circle jerk thanks to the biased mods. There are some people that give legit good advice, but most others just do it for the upvotes.
If it were me, I’d say as I just said, trust your gut. If he seems sketchy, walk away. If you think he’s just awkward (I am, but get taken as a creep instead) then keep talking. Feel him out more. Meet him in person with a friend nearby just in case it goes wrong.
First of all girl, why are you listening to random strangers on the internet? Lol Obviously you should take everything they say with a grain of salt.
2nd of all most people on reddit are toxic. That’s why I try to stay away
Reddit is for entertainment purposes only, please for the love of God, don’t take the Internet to seriously. Especially considering how many and easy it is to end up in an eco chamber.
Tldr: if your in a place where everyone agrees with you and no one has a different opinion, leave, leave as fast as you can.
I admit that I am a big advocate for breaking up or leaving a man but that’s usually if he has done you wrong or just shows no effort. For a person who’s from another country, social media is usually easier to communicate outside of it. Typically i use WhatsApp for communications outside the states.
I looked & I dont see what post ur referring to. Would be nice to have a link.
Toxic new internet culture.
Everyone who loves is toxic, needy, lack goals in life, is out of shape, needs a partner to feel validated, and is codependent.
Exes are all evil, cheaters, and narcs who you should block and never, ever, ever, regret and have a positive image of them.
Guys want to be chased, so you make the move. Tell him you are open to having sex with him because he’ll be thrilled and obviously will love you forever because men and women think alike since it’s all just a social oppressive construction.
You should never give a second thought about anyone, you should never allow a single mistake, a flaw, just block, ghost, ghost, block.
Behave like a cold-heart narcissist and you’ll be fine. Then work out, find new hobbies, work on yourself, and you’ll surely move on ready to swipe to the next product on your dating catalog.
Hi
Yes. I call it “the superficial advise” which is the first thing you’d say to give advice without much context. And it’s usually related to run away from your problem. What I do is to only take what I think it’s valuable and is in accordance to the context.
Literally all advice is subjective and what one calls “excellent” others call “toxic”. This is life, get used to it.
Don’t trust the internet for real life situations.
Reddit is full of toxic people hiding behind a random username and picture. They think because it’s practically anonymous, they can say what they like. They very rarely take into consideration that this is real life, there is more to the story than what is being told.
Some? Most of the dating advice on Reddit is toxic.
100%
“Dump him gurl”
“You go queen”
There usually isn’t any right wrong answer. What works with one person does not with another.
Advice whilst helpful can only be used to guide you. You have to react accordingly to your particular situation. Everyone is different, and everyone reacts differently. Use the knowledge from others only when you think it can work for you. That still doesn’t mean what you try will work, either.
You can’t predict the future.
Dating advice from anywhere can be toxic. Not only reddit. Worst is dating coaches, those are leeches
hi OP, speaking of, recently i’ve been reading into “right person, wrong time” advice on reddit bc i have a very complicated situation. many, many people on reddit say *there is no such thing, because if it is the right person there is basically no wrong time and you’d work it out together. so they’re not worth waiting for.* what do you think about that topic? the advice i see is affecting my decision, but there’s rarely any context that is similar to mine. you don’t have to look at my recent post on this sub but it does give some background if you want to skim through it to understand. thank you
People are asking for advice from complete strangers, not knowing their age, experience, or background. Some ppl are haters of everyone and everything, and some aren’t in a relationship and wish they were so their advice may be from jealousy. I think the advice should be taken lightly with certain serious issues. In rough relationships, like abusive ones, a concerned person can get real advice from a professional via the internet.
Searching the net for a marriage counselor, or a relationship/couples counselor is the better way. There may be a cost, but the cost of an unnecessary divorce is much higher or a breakup that could have been worked out. Some of the advice can be looked at as an “Idea” as this is my thought for you. People give advice from their own experiences, it may read as a similar situation but we never know the full details of that relationship or how it got to that point.
One thing tho, abuse is destructive in all forms, it creates denial in the abused, Oh, he/she is sorry or they really didn’t mean it, they had a bad day, it will get better we just need time.
And then there are the jokers, the teenies the ones who make fun of everything, well until they are in the shits and are reaching out.
I wouldn’t walk up to a complete stranger and ask for advice on a serious issue I am dealing with, a life-changing issue, then take that person’s advice to the letter. I may take part in what that person said that I may have not thought about. I don’t think that in court “Yes your honor a complete stranger advise me to get a divorce so I did” will work out too well (and then they asked me for some spare change)
Not all advice is good advice
I agree but it’s kinda your fault, and I’m not blaming you they are assholes but you need to learn to listen to your own gut and honestly not involve strangers into a decision that is absolutely just yours. I’m not trying to be mean but when it’s comes to love and relationships Noone is equal we are all different.