I 27f dont know how to fix the problems in my relationship with 26m

I (27f) have been with my partner (26m) for 8 months now and for the most part we get on great but lately we have been having a few problems.

Firstly some back story I have always been an anti relationship kind of person I have been single for most of my adult life choosing to have F*** buddies rather than actual relationships I struggle alot with intimacy and I am gamophobic he knew this before we got together and I have been working really hard on trying to get through this. He on the other hand had a 6 year relationship which ended a year before we started seeing each other due to her cheating on him.

Now on to the issues,
1. He has serious trust issues and constantly accuses me of not wanting to be with him, not making him feel loved* and constantly accuses me of cheating on him although I have always been open with him, he can check my phone whenever he wants I try and reassure him that I want this and that this isn’t easy for me so why would I put myself through all this emotional stress (as I’m not used to having feeling and dealing with my feeling as I have never had feelings for anyone before) if I wasn’t serious about us but I’m starting to lose my patience. He also uses my past against me all the time saying stuff like he doesn’t trust me because of how easy It is for to just get rid of people out my life and how I would be sleeping we multiple people when I was single that I could always be doing to again and that he thinks it would be so easy for me to dump him and go back to having f*** buddies like yes okay I do cut people out of my life easily but only with reason and yes I use to sleep with multiple people but I was single and the other people knew it wasn’t like I was hiding anything but now it’s like he uses it as an excuse to not deal with his own issues.
* I hate being touched I’m not one for hugging/hand holding/ cuddling/Kissing and stuff like that I was never shown affection as a kid and growing up so now I just don’t like it and I dont even think about doing it but I try my best to do all this stuff for him as he is really affectionate but sometimes I just want my space as it is alot for me and then he kicks off saying I don’t love him and he doesn’t feel loved because I don’t always kiss him when he wants and I never initiate physical affection unless it is s**.

2. So as I’ve said before having feelings is a new thing for me and I find them very difficult to deal with but when he has upset me I try and tell him what he has done but he then just turns it in to what I have done to upset him he goes on about things I have done months ago that upset him but never brings it up at the time he only every brings up stuff when I am upset or angry. I have told him loads that this bothers me as it is a hard enough thing for me to have these feeling let alone having them ignored all time and just having to deal with his problem even though I am the one who was originally upset to me its like he is trying to ignore what he has done by turning it round on me and making it my fault and then i do lose my temper and start to yell because i just dont know what else to do to make him listen to me because when i try to talk it just turns into why he is upset, what I’ve done to hurt him, how I’m such a horrible person ect. Then he tells me stuff like he doesn’t mean it like that and I shouldn’t take what he says that way 😔(I know gaslighting).

There are a few more things but I won’t bore you to much. I’m just looking for some advice on how to deal with it. Yes I know I should probably try to go to therapy to deal with my issues but I struggle to talk about my feelings in person thats why I’m trying on here now to see if anyone can help me.

TL;DR I’m just having trouble getting home to see my point of view and understanding my side of things.