My boyfriend doesn’t understand when I’m uncomfortable, sometimes it happens from the smallest things, like putting his hands on my butt or a too dirty compliment. He does it to show affection, not even in a sexual way, but sometimes these things upset me and make me feel like I am just an object. I don’t expect him to anticipate my reaction to everything, but I would like him to pay more attention to my reactions to gauge whether his shows of affections make me feel good or not. I’m not always straightforward in my communication, I sometimes say something like “why would you do/say that?” Rather than “this makes me uncomfortable” but even when I am more explicit he doesn’t seem to understand WHAT exactly makes me uncomfortable and doesn’t wonder if I actually feel good. I keep telling him to be cautious because I don’t want to feel violated, but I’m afraid he will never understand how even “innocent” gestures or compliment can make me feel bad, if I don’t want to receive them in that moment.
4 comments
We guys are not mind readers. Just tell him 🙂 women are usualy better at reading body language.
If a compliment makes you feel like an object, its a *you* problem. If you can not take a compliment, you will end up with problems later in life.
Not everyone likes to be sexualized, even by their partner. That said he can’t read your mind and you need to express to him what EXACTLY makes you feel uncomfortable, and it might help if he knows WHY this makes you uncomfortable.
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