I’ve been dating my gf from roughly 5 months the and prior to dating we were getting to know each other for a month and a half. We were pretty in synch during the “talking” period and we both were constantly hanging out with each other. She even talked about a relationship multiple times throughout this period too. I was still on the fence due to having some built up trust issues but ultimate thought I could trust her. After some more time I eventually felt close enough to tell her about the fact that I was on anti depressants and that she was one of few people to know (she also told me a lot of personal stuff). Later on yet again she talked about a relationship and it seemed like things were going to happen. However she then randomly switched up on me telling me she needs to take a break from me because she doesn’t want me to be part of a toxic pattern with her prior history
I didn’t necessary care back then (felt kinda dumb for disclosing it) but I obliged since I couldn’t do anything. She then kept texting through the 2 weeks this break went on telling me how she’s doing it for “us” (The rule of her break was that she wasn’t going to sleep with anyone) Then one night she texted me saying she misses me and wants to see me. I came because I had feelings for her even more since she left but I found out she had sex with another guy during this so called break. I hooked up with someone else quickly after she told me that in order to make myself feel better but it felt off.
I ended up asking her to be exclusive because I didn’t want to lose her and now we’re 5 months in. The relationship is otherwise perfect and we are inseparable (she likes me more than I do imo). However part of me still holds this resentment against her and I don’t know If I could get over it looking back at the situation with the feelings have now. Is it better to just walk away?
Tldr; my gf did something to me in the past that I can’t find myself letting go of. The relationship is otherwise perfect
1 comment
While I think it’s pretty normal to feel insecure about her hooking up during a short break as it can make you feel like the break was designed just for her to hook up, you said that you quickly hooked up as well. So I don’t think it’s fair to hold this grudge. You two weren’t dating and if it makes you uncomfortable, be honest and say that. In fact that’s what I’d recommend you do now. But you need to own up to the fact that you also just nonchalantly hooked up during that short period of time. Besides working on yourself and getting over your insecurity, the only thing I could recommend is saying something along the lines of “hey this has been really bothering me and eating me up because of my insecurities” but also address that you’re guilty of the same thing and that you don’t know how to deal with the contradiction in your head