I’ve(26m) have recently been seeing a great girl (25f) but I’m not sure if we’re moving at a slow pace or just not at all.
For context, my last relationship was 0-100. We met and kissed the same night and ending up full out dating and her basically living with me after two weeks. Definitely was rushed as the relationship ended about 6 months in due to multiple factors and ultimately just not being happy.
Which brings me this new girl via sliding into her dms. We met and went out till 7 am the first night. But no kissing or any of that. Just flirting n such. We ended up hanging out again a few days later. My schedule got busy and I didn’t see her for three weeks (job change, busy with other hobbies, out of state wedding, just busy in general). But we still texted nearly every day.
We started to go out more often and now we have one day a week that we dedicate to going bouldering and out for drinks after (this is one of our favorite activities and it’s nice to have a common hobby). I always walk her home whether it’s a night out with friends or a one on one just me and her.
We text almost everyday, we flirt, we make plans and after the 4th date we have been more touchy with each other. She’s met my friends and vice versa. Still haven’t kissed though…
We have started to see each other at least twice a week now. I’ve known her for about 6/7 weeks
She has stated to me that she’s only ever been in one relationship in her life, and from her stories and context it seems that it was while she was in college. So I understand that she likely just takes things slow.
So my question is, do I continue to keep it at this pace? Or do I switch something up? I obviously know I need to sit down and talk with her about what she wants from this and see if our goals align.
TLDR: have gone on multiple dates with this girl. It feels like we are progressing but not at a rate I am used to. Do I keep pursing or nah?
2 comments
> after the 4th date
> Still haven’t kissed though…
It’s time. There is no hard rule about when to kiss, but since there are clear indications that she wants to continue seeing you, it’s on you to take charge and kiss her.
Seeing that you two have been in contact regularly, have been on multiple dates, and have discussed past relationships, it’s clear that she has some romantic interest — she won’t really know until the kiss. Kiss her at the end of the next date.
> I obviously know I need to sit down and talk with her about what she wants from this and see if our goals align.
I do not recommend this until WELL AFTER you two are kissing and more comfortable around each other physically. There’s no purpose in having the DTR conversation when you’re just in the seeing-eachother phase.
.