Men with families – what is your split of working hours, earnings, home duties, childcare duties with your partner?

10 comments

1. I was with my ex for 11 years, we have 2 kids. During that time she only ever worked bank shifts so didn’t contribute financially and would often drop the kids with my grandparents to study while I was in work. Now separated she got herself a full time job, the kids stay with me the vast majority of the time.

2. I work 45 hours a week; my earnings are not really anyone’s business(I know you don’t know me, but someone here might), I wash dishes twice a week and do all the laundry, wife and maid (once a week) take care of the rest; and I take my daughter to school once a week.

3. I work 8 hours a day/ 5 days a week, she works 2 days a week, won’t disclose earnings. Home duties. I take care of fixing stuff at home, yard work, clean up inside, she cleans and cooks, takes care of the kids, I get home from work and help take care of the kids n all that jazz.

4. When I was married (no kids) I brought in $2600/month, worked 30-40 hours, did the laundry, dishes, took out the trash, and tidied when the mess got too bad.

   She worked 16 hours a day on art and made $200/month or so. She cooked 1 meal a day, most days, and swept every few weeks. No tidying.

5. From the outside, our home life may look like something out of the 1950’s. We are very much traditional in how the division of labor is between us and that went down that way because of having kids and wanting to raised them traditionally. Which is fine. We talked about all this long before we ever married. I work 40-50 hours per week. I bring home 98% of the household income. My home duties typically pertain to everything outside in the yard and etc… But inside…..I’ve always done a lot of dishes. And I take care of my side of the bathroom. My wife is an industrious woman but sometimes there’s just not enough hours in the day. So it’s only right I pick up any and all slack she needs my help with. Now that the kids are older they have their own chores and they help takes care of things. For example: the oldest two now do their own laundry. But as for childcare duties back in the day…..that’s the one that no one gets a pass on. Just because I worked all day isn’t an excuse to not change a diaper or give the kids their baths when I get home. The parent that thinks that one has more of a duty toward childcare than the other, has some toxic things to work out. I rocked a lot of babies while watching a favorite program and drinking a beer. Hell…..I took vacation days from work so that she could go have a fun week or weekend with her friends or family members so she could get away from that day-to-day. One of those stark realities that my vacation time is her vacation time to…..just like the earnings. But if she ever wanted to go back to her career, we would’ve figured it out. Just some of my random memories and thoughts.

6. I’m a single father now, so I pretty much do everything. She’ll take him on afternoons that he doesn’t have something going on and we alternate weekends.

7. well i am mom and dad so the chores go to me me and me

8. We do the traditional route. I work 50+ hour weeks (farming), she stays home with kids. She also works for our business (we’re self employed) as time allows. Maybe 20 hours a week currently.

   She cooks, cleans, does almost all of the housekeeping, pays bills. I watch kids when home. She does more, like packing my lunches, bringing me coffee, when I’m working more, like harvest. I do household things when she’s swamped and I’m not busy. I fix anything that breaks.

   For the money. I do the work that makes it, and she supports that effort and raises my kids. So it’s ours. We budget it out together, she does the day to day spending on necessities and pays us. I don’t spend much of mine, so it goes to kid’s college funds, retirement, etc at year end.

   Many people have told us we do it wrong, and most of them have since gotten divorced, fwiw.

9. I make over 3 times as much money as she does and work many more hours. Because of this she does most of the chores and childcare duties to make it closer to a 50/50 relationship.

10. I work 40 hours a week, the wife works 20 hours a weeks. I make approximately 80% of the income. Household chores are about 60/40 but I don’t do laundry and she rarely cooks. Childcare is whoever is available.